|Reviews for Coffinspire|
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 9/15/2015
Your versatility is really amazing – you have such different voices in all of your pieces. I enjoyed the old-world atmosphere that you set up with the tone of the narration and dialogue, which contrasts with the ‘modern’ invention. Shades of steampunk there. I also like the OTT humour, particularly the description of Bearer’s demise. The contrast between Bearer's appearance (which you highlight but do not demean) and his genius is bittersweetly funny. The dialogue is great too, it's so deliciously old-worlde. And I like that you consistently have a twist in the tale, which in this case may not be the most surprising one, but nevertheless it fits the rest of the events very well.
| Jitterbug Blues chapter 1 . 6/12/2014
I actually read this ages ago, but never reviewed, because I think I just got too lazy, or someone else beat me to it. I don't think I even remember *why* O_o But I do remember that this story tickled me, and re-reading it, I remember *why*.
I think that the most important approach to your stories is to …really not take them too seriously, but to see them for the satirical, black humour type of stories they are: there’s a certain moral to them, yes, but I also think that a huge part of the fun in your stories is to really just enjoy the hyperbolic aspect of them.
I love the language in this story, really: it’s over dramatic and excessive, but I find there’s a genuine purpose to it, and I think it fits/mirrors the narration of early gothic stories and horror piece, so yeah I appreciate that. I also think it helps that you certainly are a very creative writer, and know how to paint images with your words. It’s fun, I think? I especially enjoyed your description of the cryptogenic chamber because it was very vivid, but also beautifully described. Definitely a feast for the visual eyes :3
I enjoy the rather twisted morality of this story, this sort of ‘you reap what you sow’. I understand Mr Grimm’s annoyance with his superior, and I think that he was right to ask what the point of this whole thing was, but on the other, he should have at least tried to follow through with the old man’s wishes. I don’t know, but while the punishment was excessive, I think it’s an interesting way to punish people who judge too quickly? I don’t know: I just enjoy that the ending isn’t what you’d expect it to be. It’s just a very vivid sort of ending that definitely leaves you thinking whether Mr Bearer was just a madman, or whether he had a point.
Yeah, sorry if this is a useless review, but I did enjoy this.
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 1/24/2014
This is certainly quite over-the-top and yet, I do not understand the humor behind it. If you were going for a darkly comic effect with the ending, it was diminished by the cartoonish characters and writing. The dialogue especially was so resoundingly hammy that it seemed more like an outtake from Dexter's Laboratory than a witty little sci-fi skit. This factor, I think, is what made this story so implausible. Paul Bearer is so over-dramatic in his speech style and choice of words that he sounds like a cartoon villain.
If that was the effect you were going for, try toning down the histrionics ever so slightly and focus on tightening the plot as well as coming with some truly clever humor. I believe you have it in you to do better than this :)