|Reviews for Ash and the Wolf (Sequel to Ash: In Training)|
| Chiisutofupuru chapter 2 . 2/13
Well, that's an interesting change in character, a cool surprise.
I want to know where this goes from here.
| TyranicFish chapter 2 . 1/5
Alright, a good beginning. Glad to see you back in action.
A few thoughts, though. First of all...a city not linking 75 VERY linked murders? That is completely unrealistic. 3, 4, maybe, but definitely not 75. 75 linked murders would cause some sort of mild panic, and the police would be involved in every possible way. Something you may want to consider when a rewrite comes around.
In general, it seems like you really rushed into writing this, there's more mistakes than usual and it seems like everything happens way too fast. Though I could be wrong about the "way too fast" part.
As for the plot...well...you're opening into what looks like her hunt for romance. I'm sure there will be other things intertwined, and I really hope there will be. The Soulmate thing in this may be a little too Teen Fiction for me, though...probably because it is Teen Fiction...forget I said that.
At any rate, keep up the good work, maybe go a little slower. Pacing is important, the proper pacing builds up a good balance between action and suspense.