|Reviews for Forbidden Book: Seven Sacred Keys|
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 3/8
For the RG EF
I quite like how you unapologetically drop us right into the middle of an action scene. I don't mind the lack of background because I like to figure things out for myself. The sudden change of scene is startling, but it's also consistent with the manga genre. Like you said in your note, readers would probably understand a lot better if they'd read part one. On the crit side, I think your work would benefit from editing to get rid of typos, etc. Some examples: 'in charge OF you', ...a trail of ice behind him." (it wasn't dialogue but had quotation marks), 'A apprehensive look' (should be AN), etc. Also, there are inconsistencies in your tense. Mostly it's present tense but then we have 'Sakura SHOOK her head', 'Kenji STARED', 'Sato LAUGHED' etc. Language errors can distract readers, so I do think this is an important detail.
| cybersheep chapter 1 . 3/8
From the RG:
Hi there! I haven't read a manga story on fictionpress in a long time, so this was quite refreshing. First off, I really liked that you kept to the feel of a manga/anime, in the way that you described the characters, their fighting style, and even the sequence of events. I could almost see the panels of a manga in front of me and it was very very cool. I also thought the idea of him completely forgetting everything from the first book, but having a telling dream was a cool way to tell stuff that happened before without it feeling like an info dump. In terms of cc, there is a little problem with tenses in the first paragraph? Also, while the characters in the story are developing, i would have loved to see more of the setting.
anyway, nice opening chapter! I look forward to seeing more from you!
| TripleThreat123 chapter 16 . 2/2
You post the wrong chapter...again...lol I suggest you delete some of your docs
| TripleThreat123 chapter 15 . 2/2
Aha another power boost for Sato he should be a freaking tank by now
| TripleThreat123 chapter 14 . 2/2
Uhhh not sure if this was done on purpose but wrong story and chapter my friend. This is a chapter from Forbidden Book during the kings death
| TripleThreat123 chapter 13 . 1/31
Ohhh Ai is on top of her game while Sato is just so depressed about everything. He better freaking fight
| TripleThreat123 chapter 12 . 1/31
Hmmm interesting flashback wonder what Sato is thinking about now. Ai is slowly getting stronger! The small girl
| TripleThreat123 chapter 11 . 1/29
Arashi Called it!Interesting fight i always liked it when the roles of power are switch its much more interesting just like having an character that seems like a bad guy but have good reason behind everything that he does! Very sad way to die, but you probably should had drag it out a bit more if it was the climax hehehe i pretty much drag out my climax with Eihi and Rin. Pure blood, heavy emotions, and intense injuries that last though the rest of the story. Also just a tip try not to make Sato get over it too fast it would seem like the whole thing was pointless if he does! (Kuki)
| TripleThreat123 chapter 10 . 1/27
Hmmm so fire and wind! Lol wind makes fire strong because without oxygen fire can not grow! Very good combo! Bte ch.11 is a repeat of the first chapter! !
| TripleThreat123 chapter 8 . 1/27
Hmmm interesting but why do I feel like he will be fighting Ai or the fire bat guy who name I can't spell
| TripleThreat123 chapter 7 . 1/21
Ohhhhh Sato psst your mom got some explaining to do. Well it was kind of obvious that he wasn't humen with his purple hair and purple eyes.
| TripleThreat123 chapter 6 . 1/21
Ohhh how I love Ai with the power of water. its gonna be AWESOME
| TripleThreat123 chapter 5 . 1/14
Since when did Sato get darkness in his heart? O.o and I loves Ai!
| TripleThreat123 chapter 4 . 1/9
Ohhh a contract are you sure you just don't want Rin abilities? Hehehe just teasing!
| TripleThreat123 chapter 3 . 1/7
Seem like Sato is down for the court.