Wow! XD Dawn is so BOLD! I would quote several of the lines I really liked, but I fear spoiling it for those who decide to read your reviews before your story. But they way she keeps engaging in conversation with him! It's hilarious! I really like the King's personality. It fascinates me. It appears he's not so interested in the modern view of woman as dolls and such. Maybe he's more interested in strong, intelligent female types, which I frankly like!

Wow! This is a really long first chapter. I was really shocked when she hit the guy with the bottle. My first thought was "welp. There goes her cover, lol" but I guess she got the King's attention. King Drago's name reminds me of an old neopet character named Draik I think. I don't know why, but it was honestly the first thing I though of. Of course, immediately after that I thought of Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones.
Anyways, I'm excited to continue reading!

Hi glad your back and okay! Congrats on the new job, don't worry over the idiot thats causing you trouble just stand up to him and show'em he's messing with the wrong girl; he'll back down faster than you think.
It's okay if this was a shortie chapie at least we got a glimpse at dragos pov of dawn oh yeah!
Dont worry take all the time you need to update we're not going anywhere besides its more fun to wait in anticipation rather than getting everything on the dot.
By the way it was a nice touch having made the metaphor of dawn being a sun and her being harmful but in a good way to dragos.
Hope you feel better take care of yourself eat right and remember nothing is more important than your well being. Till next time!

O_O There's no more to distract me from writing. That should not make me so sad. I. I. I want more. This was so good... :,( I can't even think about anything else.

I cheated. I said I would read no more, but its all I could think about. I'll go write my story now.

Gahhhhhhhh. Damn, this is such an interesting story! This chapter just kills me. I can already see some serious conflict building and I am supposed to be writing my own chapter right now. I must take a break from reading for a bit to finish chapter 11 of my own, but I will be back. Mark my words! ''

!

I had just updated my story and was checking how far down the Just In list it was when I saw yours listed there directly above mine. At first, I was jealous, thinking how cool your story sounded and how no one will skip over yours to read mine. I thought to myself, "This person is going to take all my views!" I actually hoped that your story would be no good, but that was such a good first chapter I have to read more. I am impressed by how captivating your story is so far! Despite the occasional typo and minor grammar mistakes, this is an amazing start. I am actually excited to read more. I'm hooked.

I usually have a tough time buying declarations of love or the (typically flimsy) explanations on why one character loves another in romances. This one worked for me. Everything Dragos said about Dawn felt true and backed up by proof in the story, not like he was just spouting flattering things about her. Plus he included her flaws and the not-as-pretty aspects of her personality as well. In other words, he loves her for the person she is, not just usual qualities praised in female leads like beauty, kindness, selflessness, etc. I also love the threads of honesty despite all the games. The comparison of Dawn to the sun was great too. Loved the last line as well.

Please keep updating, and tell us how an idiot tried to get you fired haha that really made me laugh :)

Ah! I so rarely check fiction press, I'm so sorry I didn't get to read and review before now!

At my last national forensics tournament I had friend make it to finals for our region (North Holland), and since my rounds didn't begin until later I watched her category's finals (the monologue category) and there was a tall handsome man, with silvery-pale blond hair I'm almost positive was his natural hair color, who, I kid you not, was actually named Steel (he was a foreigner- British). And he did his monologue as Satan, and let me tell you he was the genuinely suave and charismatic man I have ever seen in my entire life. All of the girls were talking about him afterwards (myself included) but the best part was when he had a line, and he walked over the chair my friend was seated in in the front row (I was in the back with the rest of the non-contestants), put his hand on either side of the chair on the arm rests, and leaned over until their noses were almost touching, and said a line I believe translates to about the same as (it's slang so it's a bit difficult):

"I'm the best lay in the seen- or unseen- world."

I actually hear my friend squeak from my spot across the room, she put her hands in her face and I'm almost sure she didn't take them back out until the next person began. I'm glad that happened before I read this chapter, because damn, now I can only see Emilison as Steel XD It's genuinely perfect, and swear to god if this story were ever being made into a movie I would track down that man myself so he could play him. He's talented enough, I mean, he got first in that category.

All of that aside, no matter how much that man made me consider, like, marrying Satan or something, I'm slightly concerned for Snow (and all the girls in love with Steel in real life, I suppose, but Snow first). Not gonna lie, that performance I saw has legitimately helped me understand Snow's perspective. I've now learned that it is very, VERY easy to get a bit swept away by a charismatic blond man, but I do hope Dawn can help her see the truth about Emilison before their relationship (Dawn and Snow's) gets to strained.

I like how while the Lucifer symbolism in Emilison isn't at all subtle, it still isn't obnoxious. I feel like you recognize that the audience understands,and you don't push it too much to the point where it comes off as you thinking that the audience is too dumb to notice for themselves. Obvious but not over stated symbolism is often the best kind- easy to detect without insulting the reader's intelligence. I feel like a mistake many writer's make, especially in the world of symbolism, is assuming that the reader, or movie viewer, or play watcher, etc. is too dumb to figure things out and must things explained to them. I like to imagine the the majority of people or perfectly intelligent, so thank you for not falling into this writer's trap. Even I feel tempted by it sometimes, ya know? "Will the reader get this or should I make more obvious?" type of thing. Sometimes it's very hard to tell the line of when it's just right, and while I'm sure you'll fail on occasion (as we all do) I hope you will continue to this line...hmm... 89% of the time. (A little error once in a while is good for the soul, I find)

Sorry for today's especially long review!

Thank you for your time,
Annemie van Denend

I liked this glimpse into Snow and Emilison's characters. Side characters are just as important to a story most of the time, and make it and the world more rich and real when they aren't just there to serve the plot and protagonist.

Snow came across as very vulnerable and fragile here, which went perfectly with her being a romantic in a world that's anything but. I like her quiet sort of rebellion against the way things are; it's an interesting contrast to Dawn. Same with her more unsure and shy personality. Her take on Sleeping Beauty was a bit different too, and fitting for her.

Emilison is shaping up to be interesting too. His views on Lucifer, Dawn, and humanity have their merits. Of course, I don't think he's there out of pure romanticism-Amaro's memories point to something darker in his nature, though not necessarily entirely evil.

Thanks for the update! The interlude was as enjoyable as the larger story.

Hi hlad your back and alright!
Thumbs up for getting a job. Emilison seems up to something in my perspective but though i cant help but wonder if he actually likes snow or has an alterior motive in mind, the fact that this chapter gave a small peak at his and snows conversation really shows us how her mind works, like her idea of romance and feelings of having to paint a world of her own to escape shows us that shes a dreamer. Keep up the awesome work cant wait for you to write another chapter.

It's good to have you back

I'm loving this so much!

Ah, my friend, this is excellent! It has my two favorite aspects from Drowning in the Moon's Reflection, with the battle of wits and the uncertainty as to the intentions of the character of the relationship with the power- I'm glad I read this! I would buy it in a heart-beat if you were to ever have it published :)

While I have to admit the first three chapters or so I was quite dismayed to see you using the trope of having the male character fall in love with the first girl to rebel against him, but the more it went on, and especially after the carriage scene you've really sold me on it! He does have limits to his amusement, which is one of the key factors in making this work, so I'm glad you included it, that small detail is practically the savior of your story, and time and time again in stories with similar base plot-lines I see it over looked. It was absolutely marvellous of you to include it!

And while I don't get AS much of the sense of danger from Dragos as I did from Aizen (to be honest Aizen had me more anxious than most horror films) you definitely still have me questioning his true character in either direction, which I really appreciate and rarely see done well.

Dawn is excellent as well, in many stories with a female lead and a dangerous powerful man who falls in love with her you get the feeling the character only loves her because she's who the book was written about and that's what the author wanted. Here, however, I genuinely feel like Dragos doesn't have an interest in her (I hesitate to say love due to my continuing general anxiousness as to when he is or isn't lying) because she is the main character, but that she is the main character BECAUSE he has an interest in her. As if rather than you creating the story you were documenting some alternate reality- a documenter finds someone interesting and follows their story rather than a director who forces two characters together for the sake of entertainment when they normally wouldn't have been. Authors of good relationship stories are almost always more documenters than directors, and you definitely seem like a documenter so far :)

I can't wait to see more from you, whenever you may update. May you continue to be inspired :)

On a side note, please tell me Dragos's distaste for Jane Austin is one shared with your own self because I have been saying for years that she is one of the most over-rated authors of all time and I am absolutely dying for somebody to agree with me. Also, Count of Monte Cristo is one of my favorite novels of all time, so I hope that is a shared opinion of you and Drago as well XD

Thank you for your time,
Annemie van Denend