|Reviews for On the Windowpanes|
| Orgaya chapter 1 . 9/10/2014
Interesting read. All of it was told through exposition, but it felt very organic as opposed to merely telling the reader what happened. The mood was very somber, which I liked, given the subject material.
What I found the most enjoyable was the portrayal of death. While I said the mood was somber, I didn't really think said portrayal was - to me it just felt empty and cold. Not in a bad way, just sort of like the void that comes with silence. Maybe that's what I mean; it's very quiet. This is helped by the fact that there is no dialogue.
Although as for what happened... I think this was about a seamstress in a small village who passed through her life caring for "ghosts" - whether they really existed or were part of her own mental state I couldn't discern - and in the end, she was cared for before she departed. Is that right?
All in all, it was an enjoyable read.
| Jitterbug Blues chapter 1 . 4/2/2014
I thought this was another heartfelt little tale :D. I really, really like your writing style, and this story is no exception. What I especially like is how story is really simple at first glance, but is quickly revealed to be so much more when you chose to think about it – in this case, the old woman refusing to let go of her childhood fancies, and thus contributing good to the world of the living and the dead.
I like how you structured this: the opening paragraph in beginning offers a great introduction, and really sets the theme for the rest of the story; it also explains the woman's motives in a nice way (and I like how it is told in such a way as the woman might have heard herself when she was a child; it makes the opening seem more authentic :3).
I liked that those little sequences that each told of a different time in the woman's life - her general existence, her slowly growing older and then eventually passing away, and finding peace and solitude. Although you dealt with the theme of the death, I thought this piece had a very soothing feel to it - in fact, I'd say it was oddly gentle.
I liked how the title ‘Windowpanes’ really was integral to the story itself – the frosted over windowpanes occurred often in the story (and related to the ghosts you mentioned in the opening). I'm just choosing to say this, because not all authors choose a title that has anything to do with their story.
Lastly, I liked the woman herself - because of her compassionate nature, and her working so hard to keep everyone warm. I liked that she never charged people with something they couldn't afford.
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 1/10/2014
For the RG EF
I like the theme of cold and heat that tied the story together - in the beginning (Italicised) you mentioned the warmth of hands, and that tied in with the mittens and gloves taken by the customers who paid with 'silence and peace', and finally the 'memories of warmth' that brought her that final peace.
I like the overall plot, but I do wish there weren't minor errors scattered through the story. I also find it a little 'bare' in contrast to your usual rich narrative. However, I understand that this is probably due to the inherently 'rushed' nature of the WCC and the word limit. Perhaps you'll take the time later to polish the story and make it really shine.
All the best!
| carlalegre chapter 1 . 1/9/2014
"…of how their rage could turn even nature's will to fear." I love this line. It's very intriguing and, for some reason, I got a lot of imagery from just that line alone.
I think you did a great job of carrying us through the woman's life. There is no denying you are a skilled writer and it shows in your polished narrative. You use your words to your advantage and a provide a clear image of the atmosphere and your characters surroundings.
My only concern is the transitions between her life. I felt as though we jumped from one part of her life to the next. I think it would have worked out better for this piece if there was a gradual blending between one aspect of her life to the next. Regardless, I think the detail you paid to the woman and her life really brought her to life. Good job :)