Reviews for Calder: Masquerade: April 2019
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 2/16/2014
Some of this was a bit confusing, especially when you jump from one person to another. I’d suggest maybe using scene breaks. I’d also suggest slowing things down a little, give the reader a stronger sense of surroundings and characters. As for the last part, if he was trying to burn her, I don’t think a match in the grass would work, unless there was gasoline present. If you’ve ever watched Supernatural, notice that they always sprinkle bones that they’re trying to burn with gasoline/petrol. Otherwise, it’s not going to spread or catch. Maybe work a little bit on tension, too, as a lot of this moves quite quickly and it’s hard to follow exactly what is going on. It’s a really interesting premise, and I’m eager to see where you take it, but just think about, exactly, what you want to reader to think and feel and try to create an atmosphere that matches that. Good luck.