Reviews for Recall Photo
Freiheit98 chapter 1 . 7/19/2014
I like it :) I like the fact that it rhymes (sorry it's my favourite when people use rhyming in poetry). I also like the fact that I feel the emotions a lot in this story :) It leaves you longing for something...good job! :) I can't wait to read more :)
celery.larkspur chapter 1 . 3/27/2014
Sorry, posted my review without logging in.
Guest chapter 1 . 3/27/2014
I like the rhythm and rhyme you inserted in here. Besides for "what was my name", everything else fit in very nicely and it didn't feel forced or awkward. I would suggest "what my name was" but I understand that it wouldn't rhyme with "blame."

You don't have much imagery, and your word choice is rather simple, but I find that works well. Your poem is narrative, and so the focus is on the message rather than the actual words. The first stanza works well in that it immediately introduces what the poem will be about - a forgetful crush, a photo and the narrator who regrets part of the events, or at least, places part of the blame on themselves. This is reinforced by the third stanza, and perfected by the fourth. Despite this, I think the second stanza didn't work as well - the focus is the photo, and so I think you should insert that in. Most of all, I don't really understand what you're trying to say - how can someone recall when another person walked out alone?

I liked the tone. The nostalgic voice spoke of a simpler, perhaps happier time. Retrospect can do that, and it's very obvious here. The emotions are subtly woven in, like "I quietly mentioned", which implies fragility, and then contrasts with the bold "you probably don't remember". It's almost like a scar that still hurts.

Overall, I enjoyed this. It's not the usual sort of poetry I would read, but the simplicity made it accessible, and the last stanza is perfect - how the memory of a person can still be enough, even when they don't remember you. Unrequited love sucks, but the loser is ultimately the person who cannot reciprocate that love (not that it's their fault, but you always gain by loving/remembering).
T Alana M chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
I liked the angst in this poem, and you managed to convey the character's feelings and pain well.
I disliked the shortness, and feel that it could probably be expanded to add to character depth.