|Reviews for Aeterna Children|
| Guest chapter 21 . 2/27/2015
Read the whole story..it's u update soon,thanks for sharing it with everyone.
| Aryal Mercy Stone chapter 21 . 8/29/2014
Ahhhh the fact I was listening to "Say Something" by Great Big World while reading the scene between Brock and Keiran...Ahhh such a perfect song that it nearly made me cry!
Oh hey, I posted a prologue of sorts at the end if Shattered Resistance, just so you can know more about the Velvet family ...would you mind reading it and reviewing?
| anywun chapter 21 . 8/29/2014
Wow, I am so relieved that Kieran is back, but I'm kinda gonna miss Felix.
This was great . I'm really happy you updated! Your story's plot has become so clear now and even though it's quite rich, it's easy to follow. It flows really smoothly. I love how every chapter is smoother and clearer than the previous ones. I know you're working hard on writing, and it's definitely paying off. )
I'm very happy that school has started (me from ten years ago would never have said that). Anyway, wonderful story and I can't wait to read more. )
| Guest chapter 20 . 7/19/2014
Oh Kieran, what have you gotten yourself into? I hope Brock forgives Kieran and comes to his rescue soon.
Poor Tessa, I'm not quite sure how to feel about her right now...
Anyway, please more more more. )
| Testimony to Christians chapter 8 . 7/19/2014
Sorry for taking so long to review!
I definitely do not hate Adrik! He and Christian are my favourites. And I am totally on Christian's side, garage sales are awesome - even better than pawn shops! I like the character development here with Adrik, and I'm curious about what exactly happened with Kieran's mother. Also, what kind of warrior he was in a past life? So many questions. This rebellion thing sounds scary and I see this going very badly for some of them, but you have wonderful pacing as far as the mystery and suspense goes!
| Aryal Mercy Stone chapter 20 . 7/11/2014
Ooh chills. I already l love Felix.
| Cerucci chapter 19 . 7/4/2014
Whoa! My mind is blown. So many things happened in this chapter. I love it!
I'm not a big fan of Chloe, who does she think she is, trying to out Kieran's secret, lol.
And wow Kieran is so lucky, he got to screw Brick and Adrik and they're both in love with him.
I hope he finds Tessa, I want her to move on to her next life so she can maybe be reunited with Kieran.
And my brain is still trying to figure out how Iden and Kieran can be the same person lol.
I can't wait for the next chapter, it's so good!
And I can't pick out any mistakes so it's all good.
I'm just anxiously waiting for the next chapter of your amazing story.
| Aryal Mercy Stone chapter 19 . 6/30/2014
Why...does Felix remind me of Adrik? Really...haha
| anywun chapter 19 . 6/29/2014
This was awesome! I could feel Kieran's fear of Felix. Heck, I'm actually afraid of Felix myself, the way you described him.
Kieran's in a lot of trouble, isn't he? Brock could kill him, as could Adrik. Oh, and of course, and the vampires. Poor kid, he really loves his sister if he's willing to do all this. I wish I had a brother like that.
Anyway, I'm in the middle of a move from Philly to Portland, so right now your story is the only one I'm reading, and I'm not planning to stop cause it's fantastic! I jumped up when I got the update email. )
Looking forward to the next chapter. This story is getting really exciting! D
| Testimony to Christians chapter 7 . 6/8/2014
It seems like every chapter you introduce a new mystery, Judith, the vampires, and your subtle reveal of the fire, egads, it's too much to take!
Also, Chloe is awesome. I don't think I will ever not like a chapter with her in it (or any chapter at all). You really develop every character, even the side characters, without making it feel forced and retaining meaning in the interactions - that's pretty awesome. I'm curious of what other artifacts exist!
Also the little green men comment was too perfect.
Only found one typo:
'silently wishing the Kieran would' - 'that'
When I get the chance, I can't wait to read more!
| cybersheep chapter 11 . 6/5/2014
hey there! it's me again, buzzing around in the worlds of children who are eternal muaha! i'm just gonna jump right in, shall i?
writing: i don't know why you keep apologizing for not having a beta. the writing in this has definitely progressed. i think it is more obvious to me as i've not been here in a while, but it is definitely polished. your pacing was really good here too. we didn't linger too long on things, but got enough of the action to understand and care about what was going on. in addition the conflict/fight between between aria and adrik was extremely well done. usually an argument about cheating would be very one-sided, i.e. 'cheating bad. you a ho' etc, but there was finesse to this in that you felt for aria as well. might not have agreed with her, but you felt for her and that is all you can ask from a reader.
opening: i loved the girlish wonder that pervades the scene with aria and sarah. it might be because i am coming off your sarah chapter which is one of the best you've written so far, but i was just /charmed/ by their little scene. i was charmed by the way aria hated the minister and her friendship with sarah. i was charmed by the conversation about accents and university/college. in here i could here the stubborn voice that sarah came to us with early on in her original introduction and it was really cool to see that character agian. nice touch on the dates for the past things. makes everything so much easier to follow.
plot: so, while i understand why aria was so upset about sarah being relocated, i also feel she is being unreasonable. iden did what he had to do - sarah was a traitor and was possibly going to put them all in danger. at least he relocated her instead of killing her. what would aria have done if it hard turned out that sarah's living in the household led to the death of her baby? it makes me think that the bond between sarah and aria was sister/family loyalty level strong? as in, no matter what sarah did, for aria she could do no wrong and aria would protect her for life? as well no matter what sarah did aria believes sarah would never hurt her? i think something along those lines is happening/being felt. secondly, it was terribly interesting that the relationship that sarah had hinted at between aria and her midwife was expounded upon here. at this moment i don't know really what it means. i would rather that aria loved the midwife purely because she loved her but from what her narrative seems to be saying, part of her seeking love outside was that she felt iden didn't love her enough and that's hardly fair to either of her partners :/ also, i wonder at aria's defence of christian. has he confided in her his unhappiness that she should be so tempremental about it? or is she merely projecting. as in she feels guilty that she's keeping tammy in the closet so she lashes out at adrik for doing simmilar things?
relationships: aria/iden. aria/tammy. aria/tammy/iden? *wiggles eyebrows*. although iden is usually described as a cold, mysterious human being, he seemed really loving to his wife on the phone - i mean i could tell he loved her. perhaps this is an instance where one person's language of love doesn't translate to a different person's. maybe his work keeps him from showing her everything eh wants to. on the other hand, maybe he's just not over christian...(it is christian right? the one he drugged and killed?). ugh, why does everything have to be so complicated. i see the way you're acting like you're...wait that's avril lavigne...
as always, i am intrigued by everything and cannot wait to see more!
| cybersheep chapter 10 . 6/5/2014
hey there! it's been a while since ive been at this story, but it is great fun to be back to it! let me just get comfortable and dig in with the reviewing!
opening: this is one of the instances where i really appreciated your snippets of the past. not only was the writing very cohesive and well wrought, it gave us background for the character that was necessary to understand her later relationships and attitudes in the chapter. i also really liked the reference to the book 'are you there god, it's me margaret'. i remember reading that book as a child, but i think i has the opposite issue than she did. i didn't want breasts at all because they would bounce when i was trying to run so i made sure to avoid all arm exercise altogether! but yes, this was a great opening and it really hooked me into the rest of sarah's story. im actualy kind of sad that this is going to be the only chapter with her in it.
writing: as mentioned previously, the writing in this chapter (not just the past section) was especially cohesive. i dont know if it is because it was shorter or because this is one of those chapters that just comes out right the first time, but i did not slow down once for an awkward sentence or construction, so woot! loved it!
plot: i really like the line at the end that sarah has where she is discussing wishing that the world was more like the story books where it was obvious who was good and who was bad. i felt a lot like she did this chapter - not really knowing who of these characters to trust even if i have had ten chapters worth of them. it is of course unfair that the aeterna children have to be kept in hiding, but then to go against the very leadership that is trying to protect them? i dont know if that's better. all i can do is bite my nails and hope this all turns out okay :/. still the plot is thickenning and i am dying to understand all the things. also, blue eyed sarah is brock's kid isn't she? i bet you she is...:p. i get the feeling she is going to hate her dad. not because she's a man hater but because she doesn't appear to like or trust anyone who is too charming and or who keeps secrets.
relationships: hm, so sarah doesn't believe aria really loves the minister. iiiiiinteresting. if i were someone else i guess my caveat to her would be, even if aria had looked at the midwife with love, sarah has never seen aria look at the minister (she stated that she's never seen him? i hope im not mixing characters up again) so how would she truly know whether or not her best friend is in love? also, could you explain adrik's response "i'm not a lap dog. as you can plainly see, would a lap dog betray its owner". in of itself i understand it, but i didnt get it in the context! please and thank you!
motifs: this whole idea of not marrying for love was terribly upsetting. i know there are cultures where this is the norm and i actually don't mind it in that context because people grow up understanding it in that way, but from sarah's mouth and from lucy's mouth it seems so jaded. as if they do not believe in love keeping people together let alone being married for it - and that makes me sad. for some reason. like, one needs love in one's life no? to feel close to someone? is she going to barricade herself off forever?
anyway! totally great chapter! will be back for more soon!
| Fishy chapter 18 . 6/1/2014
Oh, I loved this chapter (then again, I love everything you write ;). )
I love how you've written Adrik. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to hate him or love him. I'm still mad at him from the previous chapter, but he really, really cares about Kieran, doesn't he?
As you said, Kieran isn't the picture of mental health (PTSD, OCD, and I'm getting a little hint of depression there, too, perhaps from stress over Tessa, maybe even some Survivor's Guilt?), and as much as Brock loves him, he doesn't know enough about Kieran or his past to take care of him the way he needs to be taken care of. Adrick, on the other hand, knows Kieran inside and out. Personally, I'm rooting for Kieran and Brock, though. )
Again, great chapter! Can't wait for next week. )
| Aryal Mercy Stone chapter 18 . 6/1/2014
I loved it(: Adrik is still my favorite character.
I want to see where Brock went though...Hera scares me...
Question: Iden and Keiran are the same person? How is that possible?
| Everfew chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
Is Kieran a real name, or an invented one? I've never heard of it before.