|Reviews for The Mall|
| LDF chapter 1 . 3/13/2014
[At 50 I found myself alone.]
Make sure to write out numbers with letters.
["Did I wake you?' He asked.]
If there’s a speech verb, it’s not considered the start of a new sentence, so 'he' shouldn't be capitalized.
The dialogue between mother and son is really, really stilted. It doesn't sound natural.
It's a good idea, really like the conflict of a middle-aged woman feeling inadequate and wanting to compensate for that. I suggest you work on showing said conflict as opposed to telling. Over half the story's telling, followed by the awkward discussion I've pointed out. You'e got a good idea though! Good luck with writing!