Reviews for Untitled |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Type your review for this chapter here... |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was a great start to your story! I laughed. Tiro is just so amusing! After what you said in the summary, I wasn't expecting such a light and happy chapter. Nor was I expecting magic and swords. You did a great job at giving me an idea of your world, and I enjoyed the read thoroughly! I hope you put up more soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow! Dropping an F-bomb in the first chapter. This ought to be interesting. Work on your dialogue, it's a bit too choppy for the first chapter. Conversations like the one here should be placed after we better get to know the characters. I like the zany atmosphere, but a little exposition here or there never hurt. |