Reviews for The Illuminating Sea
Helen Cole chapter 30 . 7/16/2014
Why did she delete the message fort Mark? I wanted to hear it. Haha

I liked this chapter
Helen Cole chapter 29 . 5/16/2014
I hate Mark! Wow! The mob? I was not expecting that.

You say May us so far away but I don't remember seeing an indication of what month sheer is currently in. It would be helpful to state how long she would wait for May.

I hope Keevan will help protect her. Why did they call her Mrs. and why didn't she correct them? Maybe Keevan thinks she's still married and that's why he stopped kissing her. Hmm. .
Could Keevan be part of the mob? I don't think so, or at least I hope not.

Btw- I added another chapter to "On the Other End of the Phone"
Helen Cole chapter 28 . 5/16/2014
So weird the way the police contact or don't contact her about Mark. Why did the subpoena come by mail?

At one point they tell her they are going to explain themselves and again she says she doesn't understand why they are there. I think her asking again is unnecessary.
Helen Cole chapter 27 . 5/16/2014
I wish the title if this chapter didn't say "first kiss". I would liked to have been surprised.

There are a couple places where you switch between past and present tense.

Awesome chapter! I love that he finally kisses her! But what the heck is wrong with him! Why did he leave?
Helen Cole chapter 26 . 5/7/2014
At one point you say awakened slowly and opened her eyes slowly. You only need one or the other.

Oh my gosh! That is really weird that nobody's contacted her and that nobody's said anything to her. It's weird that keevan didn't mention it because I assumed that's who called the police. Interesting. . I'm intrigued. You just keep the suspense coming, don't you? :)
Helen Cole chapter 25 . 5/7/2014
Woah! This was so intense and awful. I never saw it coming! This is so heartbreaking.
Irisheyes chapter 40 . 5/5/2014
You are fantastic !
Keep up the great work and keep the updates coming
Helen Cole chapter 24 . 4/23/2014
Sorry. It happened again. Blasted phone!

you have done a good job portraying her ex as scary and controlling, before he's ever really been introduced.
Helen Cole chapter 24 . 4/23/2014
That last review was from me and I accidentally hit send before I was done, and my autocorrect kept using the wrong words, so sorry about that.

Her ex makes me so mad. Why does he have to ruin everything? Why can't he let well enough alone? You've done a good job if portraying
Guest chapter 24 . 4/23/2014
There are points when this chapter had her asking too many questions that distract from the flow. Your reader is already asking those questions in their minds. like when she's wondering who called her - you list 3 or 4 things I was already thinking, and it just felt redundant.

I wonder why keevan jumped to the conclusion that someone may be bothering her, rather than just assuming it was a visitor. Had he Ben watching?
Helen Cole chapter 23 . 4/7/2014
I guess I forgot to log in last time but that last review was from me.

At one point you said she "hugged shena and said," - but they you didn't have her saying anything.

For some reason, half of this chapter was in bold, which I don't think you intended. It's done that to me several times as well. I don't know why the site does that sometimes.

Woah! Mark shows up?! I was not expecting that! urgh

What a good idea for a twist, though I must admit as a reader, I hate it -him showing up and ruinging everythin. I'm sure that's what you're trying to accomplish. Way to pull us in! nicely done.
Guest chapter 22 . 4/7/2014
The hidden stairway to his room kind of made me leery. I think I would be afraid to go up there with him, yet intrigued.

"Like a mermaid vision" cute as ever, but also kind of cheesy. haha; althought I'm starting to gather that he is a pretty formal person, though some of the comments to each other seemed far more formal than in their previous conversations

I love when he tells her he had to refrain from spying on her. That was adorable!

I love that he reached for her hand and this chapter is just painted beautifully! The word choice describing everything throughout is just perfect.
Helen cole chapter 20 . 4/5/2014
I like how mysterious he is. He's dreamy and sweet, yet almost creepy at the same time. I have an image of him in my head, but is there maybe an actor that looks like him so I can get an idea of what you see?

I'm really curious about the whole balcony thing. Hmm...
Helen Cole chapter 21 . 4/7/2014
I love this chapter so much! The story was captivating and sweet. I loved the incorporation of such a rich history into the story. It reminds me of the cute couple in the movie "Holes".

This story is adorable and realistic.

My only issue with this is that Keevan is telling the story, yet it's still written in story-book form. Maybe you could have him reading a history or something?

I truly love this chapter!
Helen Cole chapter 20 . 4/5/2014
Beautiful imagery in the first paragraph. What a way to paint a picture! The house sounds beautiful and it's nice to hear how much she appreciates it and how eager she is, even if she tries to hide it.

"Heading for the fridge" was misspelled as "hading"

Oh my gosh! I love this chapter and the way you describe their close proximity to each other. (Makes me almost squeal) haha
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