|Reviews for Fire Realm Coven|
| LDF chapter 1 . 4/30/2015
[The trees rustled as a lone man could be seen walking down a path.] - This is a bit confusing, as the two ideas have little to do with one another. So the trees rustled because the man was walking down a path? You mean the wind rustling the trees, hence the logic behind the second sentence.
[His attire consisted of a dark ash jean jacket vest with a black sleeveless hoodie underneath. A pair of baggy charcoal jeans and boots, black cuffs on his wrists, and a black collar around his neck. His dark red eyes facing forward as his ears twitched slightly at the sounds emanating from around him. He continued down the path with his bag hung over his shoulder as he saw another man leaning against a tree. The new male's dark grey pupils watching the ground as he ran a hand through his blond hair. His black leather jacket hung against his pale skin, and his dark blue pants tucked into his boots. He stood equipped with twin swords sheathed behind his back.]
Don't start the story with descriptions of how the characters look like and what they're wearing. It almost always has little to do with the story. If it matters, these details should be shown slowly through the story when it warrants it.
[You sucked 2 and 1/2 months ago, before I left, and you suck now." The black haired man said.]
Make sure to write out numbers with letters.
If there’s a speech verb, it’s not considered the start of a new sentence, so there should be a comma rather than a period inside the quotes, and 'the' shouldn't be capitalized.
| 360pages chapter 1 . 4/27/2015
Hmm, you should avoid starting a chapter with a introduction on how a character looks, I also wouldn't mind more location detail once in awhile.
| Guest chapter 40 . 12/31/2014
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/18/2014
This is a really good story, keep it up