|Reviews for (9) Find Me|
| AlysonSerenaStone chapter 1 . 4/5/2014
Really well written story! I did like the ending of this a lot for some reason. It was the prefect ending after an action packed opener. Great work and good luck!
| TanteLiz chapter 1 . 3/31/2014
Tales, I love this world. I have enjoyed all of your stories from it, so far.
Things I like - Mars' cry to the skies is chilling - excellent. I also like the image of Quill relieving her of a burden when she removes the sword from her hand and the insertion of Quill into the modern world.
Things I could have liked more - The medical stuff is problematic on all counts. Unless you're in contagion isolation, under isolation restrictions for a depressed immune system, or actually in a surgical suite, you don't have a mask on. 'Her mind is too lost and complicated...' wouldn't fly as a medical diagnosis, and there are plenty you could use. 'Prep her for surgery...' for what?
BTW, how old is Quill? You refer to her as a girl, rather than a woman or even a young woman - is that deliberate? Is she supposed to be a child?
| augie.toaste chapter 1 . 3/31/2014
Very strong opening.
The only critique I might give is that it looses a teeny bit of momentum in the first third of the story where you stop for the few paras of back story. You could almost do without a lot of that stuff.
But after that, things really pick up, with one reveal after another that left me blinking with shock. And then you add that last bit in (the a few worlds away thing... I'm trying not to give the story away, so excuse my vagueness), which is pretty cool.
Maybe it's because I've been watching a lot of anime lately, but this really reads like I'm watching an anime (esp when she yells to the livid skies). :) Good work.