|Reviews for Brought Forth A Calamity|
| Darth Zannacross chapter 4 . 6/30/2016
Having your own language eh? That's always a nice adding touch, and Leon is a cool name, if confusing to any poor sap named Leon lol. Nice history lesson, clearly the world has a bloody legacy, we will see if it gets even bloodier from here I guess.
Well, the hunt for a worthwhile tool led to a clash with this Prince Rudith, guess they were genre savvy and did not start a fight they could not win, but guess we will see if they can get out of this. Well...we will see if this resumes.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 3 . 6/29/2016
Well, we are on the second wave...mostly the aftermath but with how big and bloody the first wave was long aftermath is to be expected I suppose.
I see we have many Ether powers in this story, gold Ether the most powerful of them all or Platinum Ether? Guess we will see but, nice touch. I see the death from the last chapter is still haunting him...we will see how much of a factor that is for the rest of the story.
I see we got our story's goal, but will the cast succeed in grasping salvation or face bitter defeat? We will see but, nice start, till next time.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 2 . 6/27/2016
Now we get some context to this doomsday, we start off with a hint of romance? But...Winter seems as cold as his name, damn. But, we have worst things to worry about with all the high powered cannons going off.
Seems like Miyuki has some cool shield tricks, just before she dies...arg.
Well, things are moving at a brisk pace, this Calamity reminds me of SIN from Final Fantasy 10, we will see if that remains to be the case, till next time.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 6/26/2016
This sounds like a ominous start, and a bleaker outlook on humanity then Game of Thrones. Well, we will see how this tale will go.
| cosmicrose chapter 3 . 1/19/2016
Alright, so looking at the first section, the conversation between Melody and that one girl throws me off. I agree with Kouki that it appears like forced exposition. I can't see a little girl getting so technical. I think it would make more sense if the conversation went somewhat like:
"I didn't know Yellow Ether could heal people." -Little Girl.
"Well, Yellow Ether is known for it's supportive and strengthening abilities. The Ether I use to heal is colorless but I use the Yellow to enhance the power of that ether, therefore making it stronger...'
You get the drift. The entrancing part at the bottom was rather random too. Does Hikaru have a different power other than Ether? xD
Other than that, and the minor grammatical errors, twas a good chapter~! .
| cosmicrose chapter 2 . 1/19/2016
Well Calamity definitely sounds like a frightening monster. qnq That description is terrifying. I'm interested in finding out where exactly he came from and just who sent him. The plot certainly did escalate quickly, so many deaths so suddenly, but that's the point I guess. This idea of Ether is fascinating as well. I'd like to learn more about how its produced.
As for the scenes. The part with Larson and Rudith at the end seems rather unbelievable to me though. Larson was right but I can't see a subordinate attacking a PRINCE of the empire. I mean, win or lose, it's still treason. I don't understand why anyone would willingly give their lives away like that. I feel Larson's death would have had more of an emotional impact as well if he hadn't attacked Rudith. That just made him look rather foolish and deserve the fate he was given.
Also, I personally find it a little excessive to put the heavy breathing and roars into dialogue. You can just say 'the monster let out a deafening roar' or 'Winter's breathing became rapid and shallow'. Description can have as much effect if not more than dialogue. Just my thoughts though.
There are a few grammatical issues as well. Run on sentences and not enough punctuation but all in all, the story is pretty good! :D
| cosmicrose chapter 1 . 1/19/2016
Oooooh, I like where this is going! It's a compelling plot and I love how you labeled war as humanity's self-destructive nature. The introduction of Calamity was certainly unexpected, but I'm interested to see what he continues to do even after he practically destroyed the two empires.
My only critique would be the part about the reasons for war. On the first line you say greed, religion, or pride could be reasons for war but then on the line below state that there are no reasons for war. It's a bit of a contradiction is all.
| Shinigami Richie chapter 4 . 10/10/2014
Great story so far, the characters are easy to identify with, the plot flows quickly which I like. Your explanation of Ether was spot on, but I have to say Calamity reminds me of SIN from Final Fantasy X. All in all this is a good read will be waiting for updates.
| Kouki chapter 3 . 10/4/2014
Okay, I appreciate you telling us more about ether but that was totally inorganic way of doing it; the thought that the rescue girl would just stop her mission to give a full explanation of how she does her job to a little girl is a little strange, and honestly, why did the girl wanna know?
"I never knew Yellow, enhancement and support, Ether could heal people,"
"Why didn't he use Blue Ether that is for defense?"
Again, I'm glad for the explanations but instances like these feel like forced exposition; I would rather the narrator simply outright give us a full explanation of ether or learn by context through the people's actions.
That said, the chapter as a whole wasn't bad; I enjoyed the fight scene and the fire breathing lizards so good job there!
| Kouki chapter 2 . 10/4/2014
Dude, this place is MESSED UP...but I like it, feels like Evangalion but with no hope. I'm really really hoping that this has a happy ending cause watching this kid suffer is painful.
Now, for the actual review; your grammar problems were minimal and you gave good description throughout the chapter, I liked the design of the monster and the fact that it could fly was a nice bonus. Winter seems like a good character, I'm hoping to see him rise to the occasion in humanity's moment of absolute crisis.
Good chapter, can't wait to see more!
| Kouki chapter 1 . 10/4/2014
Good intro; it was short and sweet, leaving us with enough information to keep us interested.
So, people are getting what they deserve, I hope this one enemy can bring them both together.
| JaDeCe chapter 4 . 10/3/2014
Noooo! They were so close! So so close! I wonder what the prince is going to do with them! And how did you come up the language lol! Anyway, nice job! I enjoyed the fight scene, and I'm getting hang of the different styles of ether! That's cool!
Keep it up friend!
| JaDeCe chapter 3 . 10/2/2014
I liked it! I enjoyed the interaction between Melody, Hikaru, and Winter! They really fit with each other ya know! I also like the fight scene, it was fun to read!
keep it up!
| 360pages chapter 4 . 10/1/2014
Sorry it took me so long to review this chapter. Now on to the actual chapter.
It's a little info heavy near the middle though we are still rather early on. Our goal got slightly more clearer and we are moving on. The lack of CAPSLOCK for calling your attacks makes me happy. You don't know how many people do that for some reason.
Them being captured sucked, though I will bring up something. You introduced a new character here, but it didn't feel like a lot of build up to them.
He just shows up and said I will own you if you try and fight me. It would have been nice if we got some sort of demonstration of this power.
| Kenshin Kojima chapter 4 . 9/29/2014
So, that was Ieon language? I am impressed that you decided to create/write a new language for your story. I mean, usually, an author don't do that. You have some awesome creativity.
Now for the fight scene, it was a good one. Perfect length. You didn't drag it out, as this seems like a mere 'guardian' fight, instead of a 'big boss' fight. I liked how you had them work together as a team. Good job.
Overall, this was a good and informative chapter. I am with Winter... What is Rudith going to do with them and the Ether Core? I can't wait to see what happens next.
Thanks for the read!