|Reviews for Brought Forth A Calamity|
| Rogue Melody Angel chapter 4 . 9/29/2014
This was a really good chapter, updates are slow, but that's fine, cause that just means you're putting all your efforts into making the story great!
Would like to know actually what he said... It's sound as if it could be intruiging.
| 0nimaru chapter 2 . 8/31/2014
"[Sat] elegantly with his legs crossed was a young man in his early twenties with blond hair and a beautiful effeminate face."
I believe it should be "sitting" or "seated".
And the HDE cannon sequence reminded me of the Mako Cannon scene in Final Fantasy VII for some reason.
| Kenshin Kojima chapter 3 . 7/20/2014
So Hikaru and Melody are looking for a way to destroy the Calamity for good. Interesting. Also, it seems Winter is going to guide them to the Sacred Ruins, which could hold the secrets to the Calamity's destruction. So far, this has been a good story.
I am still feeling a little down about Miyuki. But, this is war and there are bound to be casualties.
I also learned a little more about Winter and why Miyuki called him a prodigy. I also feel like I know more about different kind of Ether. Still, I am curious to learn more about Hikaru and Melody.
Thanks for the read!
| Kenshin Kojima chapter 2 . 7/20/2014
Wow... The Calamity is truly a monstrosity. Wiping out the village like that. I didn't think you would kill Miyuki off so soon. She did seem like she would've been a fun character around Winter. Instead, she sacrificed her life to save Winter's. I thought that was a dramatic and sad scene.
Hikaru and Melody seems like a cool and interesting pair. A pair with a hidden agenda from coming to the village.
As for the Prince and Lawson... That's messed up how Lawson was sentenced to death for the Prince's stupidity. But the people cannot know that the Prince was also the responsible for the many deaths. So a scapegoat was needed... Still, that was messed up.
Now... I saw some similarities in this story. This had a Attack on Titan and Neon Genesis kind of feel to it. But you made this into your story. Which was an awesomely good one.
Thanks for the read!
Also... You should really stop thinking down on yourself. This is a good story so far.
| Kenshin Kojima chapter 1 . 7/20/2014
It was a good prologue for your story. You got me interesting to see what the future chapters hold.
Thanks for the read!
| xXxd chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
Very nice mix of expositions along with the battles. Quite simple and straightforward, and your writing's gotten better.
| 360pages chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
You establish a plot and goal which is nice, you also explain the ethers in a non- info dumpy way. But I still can't help, but feel you're moving along a little too quickly, I only have a very basic understanding of the characters personalities, I don't need to be told who they are and their entire back story, but something for me to attach myself to.
Right now I know their names, and maybe a very basic description of them, insert them more in more sentences and don't be afraid to add body language to when the characters are speaking. You can tell a lot about what a character feels by something as simple as that.
| 360pages chapter 2 . 7/19/2014
You really don't need to capitalization for when people are yelling, you can use either bold or just have a ! at the end of the sentence, better yet describe the influx of their voice, you rarely need both. You really know how to get a story moving, though I will say I wouldn't have minded if you extended some scenes. It seems a little too fast paced that I really didn't get a feel for anything yet.
| Kisho chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
You updated! Your number 1 kitty moderator fangirl is extremely happy with you cx
Before I say anything else, I think you hit your own nail on the head in that the exposition all kinda got forced into this chapter. Some unnatural dialog lines and flow-breaking narration to say this or that about Ether, but I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you. I love the concepts, though, wonder if it will really delve much into colour theory for this .v.
Anyways, I'm loving the characters we have building here, emo Winter and bishie Hikaru, I could go for. Fujoshi Melody pairing them, I say yes \ o / /high-fives Mel
Really excited to see where you'll go next chapter! The atmosphere can only keep building, I'm loving this cx
| Louis-sama chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
As I might have mentioned in some previous reviews (or maybe not), I am not fond of the usage of prologues, but this one works pretty fine in setting the tone of your story as well as giving out the backstory. I would like to see more soon, so I hope you can keep up the good work.
| Kisho chapter 2 . 6/2/2014
There are princes, too! Evil bishie princes! I'm so happy ;;n;;
Despite your nonsense in the AN, I didn't see anything wrong with the drama and I see no need for spicing up, and I think it was perfect in 3rd person! I'd just... one thing that bothers me is the gratuitous use of CAPITAL LETTERS and UNUSUAL ONOMATOPOEIA BLUEEERUPHS! and their occasional coinciding. Doing something like making an onomatopoeia for Calamity's roar is something you'd do more in a graphic novel, but in writing, many onomatopoeia run a very high risk of coming off as comical. "HU HU HU HU HU" towards the beginning made me laugh out loud, I'm sorry T-T
I'd just do something like take a couple of words to describe the roar rather than try to write it out. Same for screams and cries like "GAHHHH," "BEEP BEEP BEEP," "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH." They're ultimately just... funny-sounding and -looking. Capital yelling, you can do but I wouldn't recommend it, some do but I think it looks weird, you'd still want to use it sparingly if you do though.
But those are just nitpicks! I am seriously loving this story so much, gosh, you absolutely must keep writing this, I will be here, understand? Good, now, write write cx
| Kisho chapter 1 . 6/2/2014
Omigosh, this is just brilliant - A warring civilization smashed by a monstrous foreign force and forced to cooperate to destroy it? Twelve years after the apocalypse and starting the story with the destroyer still there as an antagonist? (I presume.) A mythical-sounding prologue that gives dark hints of an epic story to come? Gosh, even the name is one of my favorite story names I've seen on FP! I am so in love cx
I would sooo catch up on Soul Anomaly, but the sheer length is scaring me. W&C seems interesting, too, but this prologue is just killer with potential! Moving right along to the next chapter now x3
| xXxd chapter 2 . 5/18/2014
The plot esclated really fast here. I can't wait till Winter and Hikaru crossed paths.
| xXxd chapter 1 . 5/17/2014
Definitely one of the better writings I have read from you. It sums up the background of the story nicely. Let's see how the plot plays out.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
Yay arm! *stops self from making bad puns*
Lol instant rejection. That's cud for you.
'beet' - typo detected.
Anyway, I was hoping for a more detailed description of Calamity. It does remind me a lot to Neon Genesis Evangelion though. Will there be mecha?
WAIT WHAT? What kind of an emotion roller-coaster is... tis no roller coaster, it's a... sudden pitfall that was so sudden no one falls into it... uh... On second thought, people will think "I fell?" Dang I just started to think Miyuki got huge potential for the story.
I'll... get some tea to wash away my... ruffled feathers.
Disliked character? Uh...