Reviews for Divinity - Volume I
DevilPogoStick chapter 10 . 6/13/2015
Well...Somehow that helps ease up on Harry, admitting he was pretty much a dick, and got standards. Still annoying though.

And huh, I almost forgot about Cici's life on Earth...Frankly, I can understand because one can't forgot their old lives so easily...

Though Mitsuko kinda did make a good point of how returning to Earth...Isn't really an option to take given the nature of how Galaxia runs.

Harsh but a truth one can understand.

Keep it up!
DevilPogoStick chapter 9 . 6/13/2015
Huh, that was kind of unexpected of an ending. I still really wish Harry was taken down a peg...Or tons.

But overall, it was a nice chapter. The fight scene was nicely written. :)

Keep it up!
DevilPogoStick chapter 8 . 6/13/2015
Harry is a douche, I'm sorry but it really does bother me when Nobu isn't taken seriously because Harry more or less shuts him out.

...I really Cici kicks his ass, my opinion XD

Keep it up!
DevilPogoStick chapter 7 . 6/13/2015
...My Kyoko wouldn't feel like Cici is a burden to look after...Until she snaps. Though this Kyoko does seem to have her own issues...I hope she feels better. XD

Nice chapter as it shows a new character as Cornelia may sound a bit...Childish but she's a straight up badass.

And people like Harry? Da fuck? LOL just my feelings. XD

Cici being Cici is still a nice thing to read. :)

Keep it up!
Clear World chapter 10 . 6/13/2015
I have reached a milestone, chapter 10. I can now say my life can end now...

But on to real topic. Cici has a family & friends!? On Earth!? That's news to me. All this time, I thought she was like super secret agent spy who cut all ties to any personal relationship since she likes never brought this up...once. An entire month before learning this. You would think for a person who really loves Earth would have brought this up like a lot sooner. Maybe they were just shooing it away because it was 'human' things.

On to more important matters. I'm actually disappointed that it sounds like Harry really did just underestimate Cici and Nobu. That's really disappointing. I would so love to hear the information he got that made him believe it wasn't an issue because it really does make him look rather incompetent by making this random assumption.

As for Cici and her being placed on the doorstep. I can only call for the queen. ... meh. Good chapter though. The exchange between Cici and Harry was adorable (though I still don't want them to be together for reasons).
Clear World chapter 9 . 6/12/2015
I don't know why but the first thought I had about the fight was, "I wonder if Harry could just send naughty images through Telepathy". And then watch Cici nosebleed on the ground as hundreds of 'naked guys flashed before her mind." Telepathy man. Lol.

Haha, you weren't lying that fighting scenes aren't your strenght, but it was good enough to do what you needed to do. I understood the fight, and I was able to imagine most of it in my head (probably added more details and sound effects).

Anyways. The descriptions could have been touched up. Cici's possessive power should have been showned how more powerful she was, beyond, pushing Harry back (since I don't have a good guage of his strenght). It lacked that impact.

As for the whoole possession angle, I want to theroieze that it occured at the mall. Wait, no not mall. The staff. probably the staff or why else make Nobu mention the staff at the end of the last chapter. Staff makes more sense. Otherwise, I just thought it was dark powers she already had in her, but apperaently that wasn't the case. But I guess that means a real tangentable plot is about to begin soon? Maybe? Is it?
Clear World chapter 8 . 6/12/2015
As a great anchorman once said, "Boy, that escalated quickly. That' really got out of hand fast."

I know Harry doesn't like Nobu, but what is Harry basing his claim from? "Her powers are just growing at a rapid pace, nothing more"? Has he been watching or reading Cici's thoughts? I don't want to believe he's this stubborn because that would be a very stupid move on his account. So I'm going with, he clearly knows something and is hiding it. Because even if it has never happened before, what information is he basing his claim from? If he knows something, then it would make him look like a good leader, but he doesn't and is just basing this on the past and not information that is happeneing right now, this makes Harry look like a strongheaded fool. I really hope it's not the later because it will hurt Harry's character more than help anyone (even if he was to learn from this lesson. It stills makes him look like a bad leader).

Regardless, I'm sure before the end of this story, we'll learn the great reason why Harry is so distrustful towards vampires. Most likely, vampires killed someone he loved *cough* wife *cough* mother *cough* this person is tied to Cici like recarination or blood relativiy *cough*. But I hope not and I'm surpised at the reveal.

Huh... to tell you the truth, for some reason, I thought it was already comfirmed that Cici was part vampire? I guess not. Well, I guess I just assumed she was part vampire until informed otherwise. So that whole staff thing in the end, I see no tension in it unless told otherwise.

Glad to know that Nobu one of the few that actually worries about this. You go those two girls that I don't remember that starts with the letter M. I'm going put up another notch for Nobu. He's such a good future husband. I really don't want to see him be killed. I can take injuried, but not death.

Also, omg, when Cici entered the room and got into the challenge against Harry, I was like, "who is saying this", completely forgetting that Cici has redhair. If you forget this detail, that part actually becomes confusing.

But good for you Cici, be rash and jumping into danger. I hope you cause a lot of destruction as you showcase your powers to everyone. "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!".

So lastly, so when is Cici going to learn the power of heart. She really needs to learn that power because it's the most powerful of the five elements. Haha!
Clear World chapter 7 . 6/12/2015
First remark, there are other humans here!? Whaaaaat!? For so long, I thought part of the reason why Cici was so special was because she was one of the few humans on Galaxia. It made sense because people around her kept saying stuff like "you humans are..." as if they don't really have any interactions with human beings. But apperently not, there are decent amount of humans in this mall which makes me beleive that there are more humans in this planet. Unless, humans are treated like very low class, but somehow, I wouldn't think that is the case because everyone is treating Cici in such high regard.

Anyways, in a joking tone: Galaxia dollars. Just like earth dollars but from galaxia. While this is only one thing, I think there should be a Galaxia Hulu, Galaxia Victoria Sercet, & Galaxia I-phones.

I know this wrong to assume but, I imagine the shotguns that Cornelia have are like double barrel shotguns so it naturally makes me wonder how shotguns fit her sleeves? Omg, is the rumors true. There is a endless black void underneath her skirt...i mean, sleeve. Probably magic. Why wouldn't it be solved by magic. Or a wizard did it.

Also, I feel the pairing of Cici and Harry more and more the longer this story goes. I wanted to denide it, because I wanted Harry to end up with another character. But Cici has so much emotional feelings towards Harry. Just the mere mentioned of him and she's willing to shout out his name for really no reason that I can't find within the exchange of diaglogue. Ah, so attached she is. It's almost cute.

Lastly, Conrnelia for being a colonel, she really doesn't seem to be well informed. Also, it just struck me as odd that she's the one explainning to Cici why people are whispering about her. I mean it's not hard to guess why, but Conrnelia didn't even know who she was. Wait, if she's a Colonel, what is Kyoko? Must have a higher position. What about superspeed? How fast is this superspeed? Light speed? Can she travel back in time? And poor captain highsight. He has nothing to Cornelia highsight ability. Lol!
Clear World chapter 6 . 6/11/2015
I will call this a Maemi chapter because she had a lot of exposure in this chapter. Though, her characteristic didn't stick on me. It's probably due to this exposition, or foreshadow, or exposition. Not the best chapter, but a good chapter and most likely a necessary chapter to get the story moving.

Like, who knew that Harry couldn't go asking for help. And also, there's a typo, "If I did ask my father to help, word would spread quickly and people would think that I'm not capable of leading a while nation if I'm asking the old man for help." Definitively do not need to repeat 'asking father to help".

Otherwise, fourth vampire, Nirvana City, and other stuff that I should be making a mental list to remember but instead, I'm thinking of the Nirvana band. It smells like team spirit in here.
Clear World chapter 5 . 6/11/2015
Vampire, checked. from Earth, checked. Lianna's future husband (assuming nothing bad happens), checked. Had a decent private time without abunch of other stuff being tossed at me, totally checked. Well, I can cross Nobu off the list of characters I don't remember. And I can, say, I like Nobu so far. He currently stands in the lead of character with the most potential of being my favorite.

As for the fighting. I want say it's good, the description is passable and gets across what is happening, but it's really bare in description. But eh, nothing really to complain about that.

I know this is off topic, but, is their the power of heart? Earth, Eater, Air, Fire, and HEART! Combine, we make Captain Planet... wait... you can't have earth while being on a different planet. Well, there goes that idea. But water and air. And helldogs. And why did Harry say these aren't like your vampires from your fairytales? They seem like vamperies that human would associate with. Or is it that no wing thing.

Good to know Harry disaprroves of this marrage and that Nobu is doing things to make the marrage work. And that Lianna is stuck in the middle. I do have to take note at one like though. When Nobu says, "And then Harry let me stay here!" - why is there an exclamation mark? Everything before it had periods, so it just seem weird that he would shout this. Probably a typo.

Lastly, Phoenix, that beginning conversation in which Phoenix talks about the queen. Personally, I think it wold have been better to use some better form of indictaor that it was Phoenix talking other than, "He explained. He slowly leviated down to the ground and said." maybe replace he with like, the new person or the myersiou person. Just another nitpick. It actually made me have to reread it trying to figure out who 'he' was referring to (and my brain didn't make the quick assumation that Nobu was not leviating).

Oh wait, One final thing. I still don't recall anyone telling Cici how she died. Or was it vampires?
Clear World chapter 4 . 6/11/2015
This might be due to the fact that my last reading was yesterday, but all throughout when Nobu was mentioned, I kept asking myself, "hmmm, was Nobu already introduced in an earlier chapter or this the first time I meant Nobu?" For the life of me, I don't know if Nobu was introduced with all the other characters that I still am trying to remember.

From my personal experience, I like it when characters are introduced 1 at a time, with them doing somethign meaningful when introduced. For example, I can remember Lianna & Harry very easily (though they are the main supporting characters) because they had that 1 scene in which they were introduced and actually had a decent portion of the chapter just delicated to them without a bunch of other charcters popping out from nowhere. Basically, character moments.

As for the action, meh. Actually, when I read it, I actually noticed how little you describled things. Not a terrible thing, but it did make me wonder where they were when they were moving from places in quick suesscion. Basically, I felt distored on locations and where things were happening. Though it's not too hard to figure it out the general idea, saying something like "step out" made me stop and think because i was wondering, "are they in outerspace or in a planet. If planet, how is outside like? Is it like a forest or jungle? Maybe rocky, or desert? Is it sunny outside? Is the sun yellow? How close are they too the sun? What about moons? Is the sky blue...etc" Point being, I hope in the story, you do take the time to set up the stories unviersial a bit better.

As for the vampires. Hah. Vampries. But boy did this action just pop out. I want to say I felt the tension but in reality, as a whole, I didn't think they were that threaten because in the last chapter, it was mentioned that Harry fought them off. So... I didn't see why he couldn't now.

And lastly, oh, so they can send images over the mind. Neat. ... *inset dirty thoughts & pictures*. Just imagine the destructive power you could cause. Also, portable teleporters. They need to mass produce that.
Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 13 . 6/11/2015
I have to comment on the fact that it seems like the vampires and Galaxians are benevolent towards each other. One minute they are trying to kill each other the next they are talking as if they are old friends. It's actually an interesting and entertaining relationship. It reminds me of Saiyuki. The hydra fight was short but well executed. Still think that Alexander guy is a dick. Fighting must put everyone in a different state of mind. Phoenix seemed particularly evil until after the fight with Maemi. Well seems like they admitted that Cici is the other half. Not much of a reveal though and her reaction was as such. I would think Harry would be furious once he finds out Cici was hurt. On to the next one.
Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 12 . 6/11/2015
The flashback was pretty well done. Of course I would have expected more from the fight with Dante but that's no big deal. Also shouldn't there have been witnesses? There is still no answer on what happened to Airlea so I hope to see that resolved soon. Finally someone asked about Cici's past but I figured we'd get nothing out of it. The demonic vampire came out of nowhere. Doesn't seem very personable. Just fodder awaiting extermination perhaps? On to the next one.
Starart152 chapter 3 . 6/11/2015
This was a good and funny chapter were we saw a few more characters appearing among the troop. The relation between Cici and Harry is well put.
You also explained well about the vampire and the different effect compare to the usual one.

The minor detail that isn't perfect in this chapter is some lack of detail of the location when she visited the palace in the third person, except that, it was great.
Vio the Wandering Lover chapter 11 . 6/10/2015
I can't help it. If Galaxia doesn't have television how do they know about anime tropes such as tsundere? Lol. Anyway this chapter felt a bit weird following the last. Cici still seems childish and her attitude towards Lianna smoking is definitely pretty juvenile. I just can't picture her as an adult. I'm not entirely clear on what you wanted to accomplish with the introduction of Tsukiyomi and Amaterasu besides showing they are Maemi and Mitsuko's parents. There still seems like a lot of missing information and questions with few and vague answers. I'm expecting the vampires to pop up again soon. On to the next one.
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