I've read all 13 chapters in the course of a few hours. You have a wonderful style of writing, the perfect amount of description. Not too much not too little. I only found a few minor mistakes. Just some grammar or spelling errors, nothing important. Please continue writing because I can't stop reading!

I am glad you updated again. These past two chapters have been really good. I am glad that you had a chapter without much action, but full of necessary information, but then followed it with a chapter of more action. It made it so the story did not drag, but also didn't feel rushed.

In this chapter, if most of the people in the restaurant were killed, why was Grey only knocked out? I understand that you can't kill the title character in the 12th chapter, but in the story, will you give an explanation on why he was allowed to live?

I can't wait until your next chapter.

It's really late here, and I've only read the first few paragraphs, and already I know this is going to be amazing ;) You caught my interest.

I love this! This chapter was great character development. I like how you gave Silva more likeable qualities in this chapter. Her character needed some balance after she had laughed like a maniac while slaughtering the enemy. The doctor seems a little weird, but you might explain him in greater detail later. I hope Scorpio is still alive. He may have survived the shots, but still be injured and recovering like Silva and Grey.
I hope you post a new chapter soon.

This is an amazing story. I have only just found this site, and reading this, it seems like a book I would pay money for. I love the length of your chapters. It allows for good, detailed development of the plot and characters. I feel as though if they were shorter, something in this story would be lost. I also love how detailed you are. You are able to paint a picture of these events in my mind, without adding so much detail that the story is stagnant and dull.
I look forward to reading the rest of the chapters posted.

You may want to separate this chapter into smaller chapters so it's easier for others to read.