|Reviews for Wolf Girl|
| Ray-Anne chapter 29 . 10/5
Umm... Kind of confused with the ending? Why is the prologue at the end and what happened after all the death? Are you doing a sequel? It was barely a first book really.
Firstly you definitely need to fix your spelling mistakes and grammar. I barely made it through this to be honest.
Then maybe add some filler chapters. Suddenly she's friends with her family but I can't really figure out why. It makes their deaths actually not shocking. I dont even care that they died except maybe James. I also don't know why she was suddenly brought back into the family.
A bit about her history would help develop her too. More flashbacks and fighting scenes etc. You had some great lines in here and a neat story line - I likes the idea of being a bastard such a big deal
Just needs some fine tuning and work :)
| Lolitroy chapter 29 . 7/21/2014
| Lolitroy chapter 22 . 6/19/2014
Elizabeth, Sasha and the twins. I can see the beginning of a friendship. Though, y'know, newborns are not that easy to take care off, much less for people with little to not experience. You should do a bit more research about it.
Also, both Elizabeth and Jacob sound a bit... worryfree about this. I'm serious. They seem unnervingly calm despite their situation despite hwo you write them as scared. Maybe a bit more emphasis on that would help.
What!? Who tried to kill the babies!?
Didn't really get that part. Maybe if I reread.
Jacob just went up a rank for me.
| Lolitroy chapter 21 . 6/19/2014
Someone kill Analyse. Please. Someone give Sasha a medal.
My common sense tells me that someone who has been opressed all her life should have a more... ah... submissive nature. But Sasha keeps on fighting and defying them. And even though she has her angsting moments, it doesn't ge tot the point where it's annoying. It's just realistic. And she's also ironic and has that cynic edge, but it fits who she is. That's why I love her character.
Lolitroy's Weekly Award of Best Female Character goes to...! Aha! You guessed.
*puts on a Sasha fan shirt*
Just a question, is this part of the real plot? Or is it just shaping her character? If it's a plot point, hmm hmm. Just beware it won't become a filler.
| Lolitroy chapter 20 . 6/19/2014
Holy crap, this must be the first time I've ever read a birth scene in this sort os stories. You never fail to surprise me, girl. Though thank God it wasn't graphic. But it was a tad random. I imagined her literally onto a table right there naked having a baby. Not a nice mental image.
A boy and a girl? I've seen this millions of times, but it never stops being awesome.
| Lolitroy chapter 19 . 6/19/2014
I like Sasha. I really do.
First genuinely likeable character I've read in a while here on FP. Oof.
But there are some, ah, how do you say, plot holes? Like I get the animosity toward her, but why does she fight against these people and not the others? Psychological stuff? Plus othe things, though nothing relevant.
| story chapter 29 . 6/16/2014
oh boy. so sad.
| Guest chapter 29 . 6/16/2014
Why did you kill them all? To what end?
| Guest chapter 29 . 6/16/2014
Why did you kill them all?
| koyama chapter 26 . 6/16/2014
please, please reread your chapter and correct your spelling/tipping errors! at the moment I'm really overthinking if I should read another chapter or not.
To the story. Sorry to say it, but I can see that you are a Teen about 14 (plus/minus some years) and need more life experience before your story can be more realistic. Don't misunderstand me, I like it well enough but sometimes I can only shake my head in astonishment. For example, she has not enough money to buy herself something to eat but can buy fuel for her bike? She can drive a bike (without a license?)? She can kill warriors but cannot even flee from her halfbrothers and so on. Generally she can do too much but for everything she had to go through, she is to young in her behavior. She is not yet mary sue but soon she will be.
I hope you don't take it to hard. I'm sure I was the same when I was your age and was writing stories. I hope in the future you will grow in your writing-style as you will grow-up in the following years and will bring us all more stories that are more realistic.
| violet-eyez chapter 29 . 6/18/2014
so is there going to be a sequel?
| story chapter 26 . 6/15/2014
Why did none of the other wares ask about the babies? As far as their concerned they've disappeared into thin air. What a load of self serving jerks they are. The only ones who seem to be half way decent are Jacob and Elizabeth. How come she became interested in Ace? Isn't he her half brother or something! Yuck incest.
| Guest chapter 20 . 6/3/2014
Hells yeah Sasha! I love a female protagonist who's not scared to look death in the eye. You wrote this beautifully, can't wait for more!
| story chapter 18 . 6/1/2014
Please! longer chapters
| Lolitroy chapter 18 . 5/29/2014
I'm not dead! Good imagery at the beginning. Oh, what the hell with those people? Who on earth gets a door-sized guy to fight with a girl? Kuuuh, I hope she guts them.