Reviews for Specialists: Soldiers of Fortune
poopllama chapter 2 . 10/15/2014
Oh God, take out the M2. It's physically impossible for a single combatant to carry one and use it effectively in combat.

poopllama chapter 1 . 10/15/2014
This was a good story and certainly was quite exhilarating, but there didn't seem to be a reason Joshua seemed to be talking about the story. The paragraph on trust seemed to be a bit irrelevant to the story line.

You should also be careful not to make Joshua too cliche of an action-hero-type character.

Good luck!

Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 1 . 10/11/2014
Generally, I'd say that you have what I'd call an engaging style. Your voice is very good, and it made me grin, because Joshua has an attitude that I cannot help but love. He's arrogant, yes, but he's also got the skills to back it up. I like that he's a bit sarcastic and clearly indicates that he has already been through a lot; it's not too bitter or angsty, which I appreciate (seriously, all the angst and drama is getting a bit dull). The only thing I'd watch out for is some tense inconsistencies that do seem a bit jarring; it just breaks away from what would otherwise be a very well-written first chapter.

I like how you write the action; it's very fluid and not too detailed, since I didn't spazz out like I usually do. I felt it was very vibrant too, making the action unfold before my eyes. I liked that Joshua was relatively badass about it all, killing the ones who got in his way, and being able to think ahead. I also liked that there was a bit of humour in this story, which just shows how used Joshua is to all this. If anything, tone-wise, this story reminds me of 'Army of Darkness' – a pretty funny movie, if you ask me.

This review was brought to you by the Review Game Forum's October Review Marathon (link in my profile).
poopllama chapter 13 . 8/10/2014
I don't think you should have him describe himself in the beginning or throw away the 9mm. There's a lot of improvement, but there's still excessive gun description, and the whole scene seems kind of cliche.

There was some tense confusion, and I didn't know if this was a flashback or presently happening.

Also don't capitalize the word trust.


P.S. The AKS-74u isn't a submachine gun since it fires a rifle cartridge. It's a carbine.
inkfngrz chapter 6 . 8/7/2014
Good grief. I'm nervous, my hands are sweating! This last chapter really did catch me by surprise. The girl in the dream is creepy. But the zombie-fighters make sense now. No wonder they didn't stay dead. Somehow I get the feeling that Josh isn't going back to his cell...
Will review more soon!
Needless chapter 13 . 8/2/2014
Nice opening to the revamp, man!
inkfngrz chapter 5 . 7/28/2014
Hm. Why do I get the feeling that Sarah's important?
Great, another bad situation. But whom is this "he"?
Great chapter, will read more asap!
poopllama chapter 8 . 7/23/2014
Also you should study up more on guns. It seems you don't know much except for the official-sounding combinations of letters and numbers which are their names, but just listing these names only serves to make the story more unappealing to the reader as they are forced to sift through the conglomerations of characters.
It's okay to list the gun names, but that shouldn't be your main priority. Just a few times is enough.

E.g. Instead of saying M1911a1, say pistol or Colt or handgun or anything but that long name. I'm quite a gun nut myself, and I love listing names and types and their actions, but when it comes to literature, it sometimes seems like your just trying sound like an Internet gun-researcher.

Also, certain words should not be capitalized, and you should brush up the grammar and spelling of this story a little.

And seriously "spawned a gun"? You know you're a COD fanboy when you do that.

And please uncensor the swearing. It just ruins the badass effect of the story.
poopllama chapter 6 . 7/23/2014
This story was quite exhilarating, but you should spend more time developing the plot (which seems kind of unformed, just raw action) and less time describing guns, even though that's the best part of writing action/war novels. Also develop the characters and backstory more because the character seems pretty flat and emotionless, except for a general air of badassery like cliche action hero/soldier/mercenary protagonists, and I didn't understand the whole GSC organization and the intent of this mission. You should go more into that. Basically, this story is pretty flat and cliche.
Also the combat described seems pretty unrealistic.

Tiny technical details:
Also no large armed organization would ever use such a large array of small weaponry because that would be a bitch to maintain! And never a Desert Eagle. That's one of the worst possible small arms you could take into combat!
The thing you put into the gun that feeds ammo is (in the context of this story) is called a magazine, not a clip.
Needless chapter 12 . 7/23/2014
Good luck, bro!
inkfngrz chapter 4 . 6/26/2014
Ow, ow, ow, ow. I'd hate to have to stitch myself up. *shivers* But then that's probably why I'm not part of GSC. ;)
That guy with the claws, creepy.
Will read more soon!
inkfngrz chapter 3 . 6/15/2014
Wow. I didn't expect that. Twist chapter ending! Touche!
I like all the new weapons, the scratches and injuries sound weird.
I have to admit, I am really liking this updated version. :)
I don't play call of Duty, I'm sorry. :(
Needless chapter 11 . 6/13/2014
Action all around! Nice :)
inkfngrz chapter 2 . 6/13/2014
Sasha seems familiar. And I LOVED the weaponry in this. :) Nice choice of guns.
Good as always, different approach. I had to laugh when you noted that Adam was intimidating first and THEN you mentioned the gun. Classic.
Can't wait to read more!
Tobi-sama chapter 1 . 6/12/2014
It's been a while I've seen a piece like this. It's nice.
29 | Page 1 2 Next »