|Reviews for The Kill|
| TheRoseShadow21 chapter 7 . 6/18/2014
Wow. Really looks like things are building up. Take your time with updates , I know what school can be like (thankfully my exams are almost finished now )
Keep up the good work!
| Anonymous chapter 6 . 6/13/2014
WOW! Soooooo good! But one question: why does Tessa reopen her scars?
| RG16 chapter 5 . 6/7/2014
Wow ok... so Danny knew that David killed their family? Damn... Still if they treated them that bad, he didn't really have a choice...
Also, there's a word missing in the first POV - Danny's. When the doctor is saying he'll have to be put in a straitjacket so he can't hurt himself or others - the word 'hurt' is missing.
| Anonymous chapter 4 . 6/2/2014
its good. cant wait to read more
| RG16 chapter 3 . 5/17/2014
I'm intrigued with what happened to Danny and why he aplogized to Emily. Did they mke some kind of promise or something?
Also, hearing that Tessa's younger brother was murdered made me think about those people David killed and how Danny 'lost' his parents, uncle and brother all at once. I wonder if his parents and uncle stopped talking to him as David did, or if they died... I don't think David killed them, though. I think anyone who killed their entire family would be a little more of an emotional wreck... Unless they were a psychopath or a sociopath but David doesn't seem like that to me yet...
Can't wait to read more!
| blank chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase update! Please :D
| mrs.ashtonirwin chapter 1 . 5/7/2014
its really good i like it please update
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 5/4/2014
I really liked it! A few questions, though...
1) What the HELL is up with Tessa's parents? They don't seem very nice...
2) What did Emily mean when she said "...This is the only time of the week I come out of my room."? Is she like not allowed out of her room?
3)WHO. DID. DAVID. KILL?
Keep updating, please! :D
| RG16 chapter 1 . 5/4/2014
I'm going to start from the beginning: you REALLY need to change your summary because people aren't going to read your story because "summary sucks but story does not". Honestly I wouldn't usually and the reason I did decided to read it was because you mentioned there was Shailene Woodley and Theo James in the cover. Pretty shitty of me, right? Yeah well, I'm not the only one who thinks like this because there are literally hundreds of authors out there who say that their summary sucks but their story does not.
And the actual summary is pretty great! You should use that... though I'm thinking you didn't because there wasn't enough space, right? I don't get the whole 384 characters - I mean give us at least 400!
You could maybe shorten it or rephrase it. For example, this "Daniel is a schizophrenic without many connections to his family, and a best friend named Emily, who is a suicidal insomniac" could become this: Daniel is a schizophrenic without many connections to his family whose best friend, Emily, is a suicidal imsoniac.
I like how your grammar is not shitty at all - unlike a lot of people who post in FP and I love the detail you use to describe their actions. Makes me jealous 'cause I can't :P
Black 1967 Chevy Impala... That car is awesome. I sense a fellow SPN fan :3
Have to be honest and say I didn't like this sentence very much. Mostly the second half: I sensed that I was going to pass out, and I willed myself to.
Something I didn't like very much was the amount of times you changed POVs. First David, then Tessa, David again, Tessa AND David, for the third time. If you change POVs this many times, it can get confusing. And then people start losing interest... I do that sometimes. Though I'm not saying yours is confusing at all! I'm just saying that in the future...
I hope you update soon! I wanna find out more about these guys!