|Reviews for Nevereverland|
| Lord Goodman chapter 1 . 5/4/2014
Well the major things wrong with this is the amount of run-on sentences. Other than that, there's a few minor spelling mistakes.
I like where this story is going, and it could be pretty cool. I suggest you work on this part more though. Spend more time developing the situation the main character is in. Also maybe have the guidance guy appear a couple more times, make him seem more mysterious.
Last thing, work on the encounter with the bullies. Have a teacher appear and catch them or something. Bullies know that the student they're bullying could tell on them, but that won't stop them from bullying. Also, maybe have the Makura react to Marcus's injuries. Kind of weird he didn't say anything about them.