|Reviews for Son of Death|
| KoreanKai chapter 2 . 7/28
I could be such an asshole and say "This story is shit!" and "Learn how to write!" but that would do nothing. Instead, I'm going to give you tips.
1) Use details and explain. You said you noticed that Hell was being destroyed. How did you notice? Was there a sickening feeling in your stomach? Did you see it be destroyed? And when you do explain how you knew it was being destroyed, describe what's happening. You say you saw a giant hole in the ground. Describe the hole. Was it all fiery and black and did you get a sinking feeling when you looked at it? What did it look like when it was growing? Compare it to something so the reader can visualize it.
2) Give a backstory. You say that you're son of the Death Reaper and nephew to the Grim Reaper (even though I'm sure Death Reaper and Grim Reaper mean the same thing). Talk about your family. Talk about where you live. Hell, talk about hell! The reader needs to have some grasp of what's going on or else they'll just be lost the entire time.
3) Make the characters more like characters and less like wooden dolls. The interaction between Reen and his father was...just so cringey. They're not just cardboard cut outs. They are characters you created and they should act like actual beings.
Hopefully, you take my advice and improve. Good luck with your story and have fun writing.
| Needless chapter 3 . 5/28/2014
| Needless chapter 1 . 5/15/2014
| Logan chapter 1 . 5/15/2014
Good start, odd, but good job