Reviews for Give Your Heart A Break
Guest chapter 1 . 6/25/2014
I love your characters. They are very well rounded for a one shot. You are a very strong one shot writer. I loved the bit about the pool at the beginning of the story. The pop culture references were priceless. Real effortless read, but great at the same time. I've been reading Omega and have liked it. I thought that I would read another one of your stories and I'm glad I did!
Julietish chapter 1 . 6/23/2014
Hello, it’s Juliet from ADoR! Thanks for participating in Star-Cross’d this round. The first sentence should be ‘falling in love is like taking that plunge into the cool water’ so that the verbs parallel one another. That being said, that analogy of love and testing out new waters was a great way to start off the one shot. I liked the flashback and how relentless Kyle was in an adorable way. He certainly grew on me! I enjoyed your incorporation of pop culture references; that always adds to the humor of a story. The one-shot ended on such a sweet note. Great, great read. There are a few other typos I caught: “Let me tell you something about university freshman” freshman should be ‘freshmen’ since it’s plural. In the line “Why does everyone use that as their defence,” 'defence' should be spelled ‘defense’. In the following line, the words in brackets are the words I added since it wasn’t that clear when I first read it “I mean, you might [think] he’s a jerk for calling [you] out...”. It was a pleasure reading your one-shot! Their banter was cute. I hope you participate in future rounds of SC!
MileyRowling chapter 1 . 5/20/2014
I really like this! This is probably my favourite one shot by you!
Carmel March chapter 1 . 5/20/2014
Great one-shot, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I loved the premise of it, and I thought Abby was a great, relatable character. Abby's interactions with Kyle - especially in their dialogue - were funny and sweet and made me smile. I also liked the beginning metaphor about the pool and love, it worked really well. Thanks for writing this, and good luck with Star-Crossed! :)