|Reviews for the sun|
| sprinkled clean chapter 1 . 12/24/2016
First of all, I liked the concept regarding a person who would love you as a project and not as a person; it suggests that there's a certain quality of love which is to accept a person for who he/she is and not force him/herself to change. Your usage of "overemotional" in quotation marks was particularly powerful, and it felt like it was coming from somewhere, and I could hear the sarcasm or disgust in that line.
Interestingly enough, it seems like you make a completely different poem in the second and third verses, which talk more about love being powerful and out of control, or rather, something you shouldn't control (as suggested by the third verse, "don't dim yourself for someone who can't handle your brightness"). I see the connection between the first verse and the second-and-third verses - the first verse seems to portray a person who's weak (overemotional), whereas the second & third verses portray that same person as bright, strong, like the sun (unhandle-able brightness). I thought the contrast was interesting, but it just came off as depicting the person as overly defensive of his/her self-worth.
/from the Reviewing Crusade forum
| PoetryMagic12 chapter 1 . 11/2/2014
"another smashed vase
to piece back together
who will fill you with words" I do enjoy those likes
It's the last lines that are my favorite:
"do not dim yourself
who can't handle your brightness" It's so powerful. Plus it's also true.
| co-creating metamorphosis chapter 1 . 8/27/2014
First off, thank you for the kind reviews. I am grateful.
This poem is an absolutely brilliant piece of writing and it resonates with me deeply.
Some of my favourite bits - "not as a person, but a project", "pressure points"...and the entirety of the last two stanzas. Really lovely.