|Reviews for Magician's Blood|
| cud-b-better chapter 1 . 6/3/2014
Oh, quite the philosophical sounding beginning "An idea never dies" I like this for some reason because I'm still trying to rack my brain to find a contradiction to this idea.
Anyway quite the mysterious beginning need to see where this goes before I pass proper judgement but so far pleasantly surprise, to be expected of you Kisho-sama.
| HeroofEnelios chapter 3 . 6/2/2014
These ending lines in italics are interesting. I must say :3
Taming animals for combat? I can picture that... but I have to wonder how effective a squirrel would be in combat xD Throw nuts at the enemy! Or something...
And that last exchange of words in this chapter, I don't know why, but I just liked it. Very nicely done. An all round great chapter!
| sugar honey iced tea chapter 2 . 6/1/2014
"Glorious twilight from the triple moons spilled in through the greatest stained-glass display could boast."
- Nice imagery to start off the story. I especially like the usage of the word 'spilled', giving us the sense that twilight itself seems as some sort of fluid - or has fluidity in a way.
As we go on through the story, it seems clear that your description is the highlight of your writing, with fancy imagery and whatnot. I like how you described Elicia Vasavilli in the second paragraph with hints of her appearances, using more than the sense of sight to portray her. An example would be when you say the 'clicking of her boots', in which sound is used to illustrate Elicia.
I've got no queries about this whatsoever.
You do set up a very foreboding atmosphere, with many questions, especially about who 'He' is. Given the fact that 'He' is always capitalised, could possibly suggest that he's some godly or celestial being, perhaps? Or that he's watching over everyone and speaking against him could end with bad consequences, possibly.
Characterisation I think is done very well here - equally well for Father Daunox and Elicia Vasavilli. In terms of dialogue, you can get a good judge of character from them, by the way they address each other as such. Elicia's quite confident and has that attitude, with Father Daunox acting solemn, maybe taking her attitude as irritating somewhat.
A personal nit-pick which was sort of bugging me in a way, kinda:
- "The man standing there, tall, proud, tanned, hair red as a flame, turned slowly to face her."
I think you could easily get rid of the comma between 'tanned' and 'hair red as a flame' with the word 'with'.
Overall, this was a pretty good chapter. Nice imagery, good characterisation and an uneasy atmosphere. I can't really say much in terms of criticism here - since I'm not a great writer - but I'd just be more sparing with the ellipsis. An ellipsis is meant to act as a meaningful pause, and I think there's an excessive use of them, in my opinion.
But this was some pretty good stuff, Kisho (*w*)
| XxmikoxkogaxX chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
The first chapter seem like a peom telling about the past
So far I don't really have much to say about it until I read the next chapter I guess
I will keep reading though!
| sugar honey iced tea chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
Well, I love a good sci-fi story. And this definitely has the potential to be one. The prologue's stirred up a lot of intrigue and questions, which is always a good start when trying to lure in the reader. The backstory effect helps here.
I'll point out that I especially liked the repetition of the phrase, "A cold world. A broken world. An evil world. A dead world." (obviously the phrase repeated the second time used the word sleeping instead.)
Can't really say much else, due the prologue being pretty short. But good job, Kisho!
| HeroofEnelios chapter 2 . 6/1/2014
I feel stupid for just now noticing the Sci-fi/Fantasy genre this is listed under -n- eh heh... but that's a really interesting genre combo! Typically the two are considered opposites when it comes to writing, so I'm very interested to see what you do with it :)
You're writing style is so nice! Some great vivid description, and it's written in a way that I don't typically see, which is even better. Introducing two characters off the bat, and I am already interested in just what kind of people they are.
Great writing! :)
| HeroofEnelios chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
"A cold world. A broken world. An evil world. A dead world."
Something about this is just, eye catching. A nice way to start a story. Really descriptive language, you told a lot already with so few words. I think that's amazing in and of itself, since it can be hard for a lot of writers to do something like that with such a short length. v
I am interested to see where this goes, so off I go to read the next chapter :3
| Sentimental RainCloud chapter 2 . 6/1/2014
I am surprised at how short this was. Nevertheless, intriguing opening. Can't wait to see how you elaborate.
| Y. S. Wong chapter 2 . 5/31/2014
"with the coloured moonlight spilling down over him from behind and casting him into a rainbow silhouette." MUCH FABULOUS. But lol. British spelling?
This is so serious, especially in comparison to DeeZee. Where are the coffee kisses and half demons? ;(tilde);
But I've also been in a mood for a good sci-fi planet hopper. High hopes for this one. Yay for mysterious sci-fi churches!
| Y. S. Wong chapter 1 . 5/31/2014
Yay, a new Kisho story!
Uwah, this is a lot more ominous than the usual standard Kisho fare. But there's magic! And sci-fi-ness! That means it'll be good. *dashes off to next chapter*
| Lolitroy chapter 2 . 5/31/2014
Nice, Kichama u
I like how the telling fits the story even though it's normally not recommended. And there's lots of Kishoing here -w- which is good.
By the way I'm the first review! Yay!