|Reviews for American Now Departed: Fight for the One You Love|
| Kahoruko711 chapter 17 . 5/19
This was a good chapter. You really know how to set the tension and peril.
Everything was well-written and detailed, as usual.
I'm glad to see that everyone made it out with skins intact. Talk about a scary situation. I really like Tanya and Ray working together to take down that sniper.
Looking forward to see another update in the future!
As always, good job.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 16 . 5/15
Alright, I liked this chapter quite a bit. It showed us what Petya and Chertov's groups are up to.
I really liked the second part better because of Jane and Will. They were able to understand their shortcomings and resolve to be better people than before. Maybe now, Jane will finally get over Peter and move on with her own life to the fullest. A good breather chapter I will re-read until the next update.
It's good to have you back, Jordan.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 15 . 9/20/2014
Well, that was close! Great job with this chapter! It really had me on edge. Once again, you've outdid yourself with the action scenes.
Vasili and Katarina's love scene was endearing. I'm hoping to learn more about Vasya's aloofness and why he has that survival of the fittest mindset as well.
This is quite a fitting way to end the first part of this war story. Congrats on that! You've come this far already!
Anyway, I'll be looking forward to seeing more updates from you in the future.
| STARLIGHT2267 chapter 15 . 9/15/2014
I like it
| Kahoruko711 chapter 14 . 9/8/2014
My favorite chapter so far! I found Delacroix to be quite entertaining regardless of her rich brat attitude.
Kat and Vasya giving Tanya some advice was a touching sight. Hopefully this will help her grow stronger and more aggressive in the next battle to come. She will have more resolve. I'd like to see that in the next chapter. I get the feeling that Tanya will be quite the capable combat medic for sure.
I'm quite pleased with how this turned out from beginning to end. The dinner fight between Peggy and Angie was quite fun to watch, despite the fact that they were fighting over broccoli of all things. I can't help but side with Peggy on this one, Angie started it first. XD Then again, she didn't really help the situation by giving her more attention either.
I'm also glad with how the lover's tiff with Peggy and Walter turned out as well. Despite Peggy being his soul-mate, Walt wasn't afraid to talk some sense into her. I think this might be the first time I actually seen him be angry with her like this. It was a short scene but still a nice touch, nonetheless. I really like to see a little more of that with the two other couples as well.
Now, I've noticed that you tend to describe Walter only by his gunmetal grey eyes. A lot. Surely there must be something more besides that to identify him. I was sort of expecting Angie to be a little more discriminatory regarding men and soldiers for some reason. But, hey, she's a side character. Can't go too far with her anyway. That's all I can critique anyway.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this new chapter.
Really looking forward to the next update!
| Kahoruko711 chapter 13 . 9/5/2014
Wow, I was quite saddened to see that poor soldier pass on like that, despite Peter and Tanya's best efforts to save him. In the end, it really didn't matter who was the enemy or who wasn't. Human beings are fighting in a war. Each of them had to fight for what they believed in and died in the process.
That scene really got to me. Very well done.
I'm glad that Peter and Tanya managed to reunite with their group.
The action was entertaining. Everything else looked fine in my opinion. Overall, it was a good chapter.
I can't wait to see the next chapter! Why? Because I'm the one who helped you with it! :)
| Kahoruko711 chapter 12 . 8/25/2014
You did well with this chapter. I'm glad Pete and Tanya managed to survive such an unexpected attack. You were right, the good guys aren't having a good day.
The morale and confidence was gained and then lost after the surprise attack. You did a good job with that.
I felt bad for Tanya having to be forced to kill in order to survive. Will she throw a fit in any future chapters?
I think she will. The poor girl's been through so much. Anyway, Peter and Tanya make a good team when it comes to stealth missions.
The rest of the group seem so edgy and lost without Peter's guidance. It just proves how important he is to them all.
I noticed that you tend to use the word "gentle" in this chapter. Perhaps you should mix it up with a word that sounds similar to gentle.
Also, there's a lot of kissing in this chapter. Not that it's a bad thing, I just find it a bit repetitive and a bit much. Sometimes, passionate hand holding and held gazes can also be just as meaningful.
When Tanya climbed on Peter's body and said her last line, I was expecting for her to strip Peter of his coat and shirt.
Of course, they weren't going to cross that *line* yet, but that could have planted a hint that they done a little more than just kiss.
Overall, this chapter was a good read. Looking forward to see the next update!
| Elizabeth Cooper chapter 11 . 8/20/2014
Sorry it took me so long to review chapters 10 and 11...so busy getting ready for school. Anyway, I finally managed to find some time. So, here are my thoughts.
Chapter 10: I agree with your statement in your introduction...it's nice to have a breather between action, as during action scenes characters are much more difficult to develop. The phrase "up to their eyeballs" (second paragraph) sounds bit modern. I'm not familiar myself with the origin of this phrase, but it sounds too modern to be used in the 1940s. I really liked how you included the translations at the end of the sentence (it's something that has been annoying me, as I always have to go to end of the chapter to find translations). You did really brilliantly in this chapter in transitioning Tanya to be a little more mature, especially when Vasili and Peter talked about Tanya's actions during the battle. One point...if Peggy really cared for Walter, I think she would be a bit more concerned about him after he was nearly killed in battle. Just a small point. Is it possible that Peter would be awarded a Purple Heart without being in the military? Did they ever do this in history? If so, it's fine...but if not, it seems a bit unbelievable to mention this. I know one of the soldiers gave it to him, but it seems a bit unethical.
Chapter 11: I have a feeling that, by joining Peter, Tanya may be putting him in more danger, as he will be more likely to do something rash to protect her than if she wasn't there. Cute scene with Tanya and Sakura in the beginning though. The scene with Katarina and Vasili and the kids were adorable. Come it think of it, you have yet to have a scene with young kids in it, and I felt like it endeared me to Katarina and Vasili...brilliant writing tactic. Perfect balance between cute and intense in this chapter. I have no complaints about this chapter.
Great two chapters! I look forward to reading next week's chapter and good luck with grad school.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 11 . 8/18/2014
Good chapter so far. Although, one thing sort of bothered me. How come Vasili was so cynical around the two children? Did he have a bad experience with kids during his time back at the doomed Stalingrad? Perhaps he tried to help a child once and ended up putting his or hers life in danger, resulting in a horrific death. That would explain why Vasili would think children are just a liability, or a burden. Perhaps you should shed a little more light on that during a conversation between him and Katarina later on. Perhaps Katarina would imagine about having children and Vasili would say he wouldn't make the best example of a parent. All in all, this was a good read. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Kahoruko711 chapter 10 . 8/12/2014
This was a good breather chapter. I'm glad you decided to follow through with writing this. There was no way Peter or anyone else could continue on unscathed. There would be something wrong there. Anyway, I found the moments between the two couples quite endearing. I would like to see more of Vasili and Katarina together though. I haven't seen any moments between that couple as of late. Perhaps on the next chapter? I guess we'll see. It was also nice of the soldier to give Peter the purple heart, despite his initial protest. He is so modest.
I can't wait to see the next chapter!
| Elizabeth Cooper chapter 9 . 8/7/2014
I don't really have much to say about this chapter. As I've said numerous times before, your action chapters truly shine. You contrast short, quick action-packed sentences with longer, more informative sentences. Well done, and the scene with Tanya and Peter near the end was adorable. I did have one problem, though. As Walter and Peggy seem to have no experience in war, why do they seem to be directly in the middle of the fighting. I get that Peggy is a medic along with Tanya, but having Walter fight seems a little unwise, unless you indicated previously that he had experience in war...I don't remember if you did.
Anyway, I look forward to next Monday.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 9 . 8/4/2014
Awesome chapter by far! I'm very glad with how this turned out. You've done one heck of a job with the action and excitement! I didn't see anything wrong whatsoever. You clearly knew what you were doing with the scenarios and such. I could never write such something as long as this, though. Too time consuming for me. But, this kept me interested from beginning to end. I hope Peter and company are able to recover well after such overwhelming attacks. They still have a ways to go. I also liked Tanya helping Peter with the machine gun. Could this mean she'll be joining the offensive line, soon? I have no problems with that. I just never thought about it that way. She might need to use a gun again when things get crazy. Great job making such a chapter possible!
| Elizabeth Cooper chapter 8 . 7/30/2014
And so, great friends meet again. Charles, Ray, and Peter are so cute together. They remind me a bit of two older siblings teasing their younger sibling (aka, Peter). The chapter was interesting and the action and descriptions were good. There was only a couple of wording and clarity issues I noticed that I thought you might want to consider.
First, when did Lieutenant Denisov and his group join Peter and the rest? Maybe I just forgot that part from previous chapters. Second, at one point, you say "a young teenage girl of Asian complexion..." What is an Asian complexion? Personally, I've seen Asians with a wide variety of complexions, depending on where they come from. Perhaps a more detailed description is warranted to describe Sakura. Third, Peter had a reputation of trouble with girls? Even if they didn't give him a passing glance? What is this supposed to mean? I would clarify...talk a bit about his past with girls. Does it have something to do with his awkwardness when dealing with girls that you alluded to later?
Anyway, I look forward to more conflict and battle scenes...and Tanya learning how to shoot a gun. It should all be such fun. I look forward to next Monday.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 8 . 7/29/2014
I'm glad to see Peter meeting his French friends again. There are a lot of characters to keep track of in an author's perspective. But I'm sure you'll be able to pull it off just like in your previous books. I'm liking the Resistance so far. I might get too close to them when stuff hits the fan. And it looks like Tanya and Sakura are going to be good friends in the future. Good chapter so far! Can't wait to see the action packed chapter next Monday!
| Kahoruko711 chapter 7 . 7/29/2014
I think I'll like this "antagonist" group. They seem interesting so far. They seem a lot more capable than Chertov and his agents from the previous book. I'd like to see more of them in the future. Good job with this chapter!