okay, this is very good, nicely written and engaging.
but its just too much. the constant action is too much, and you missed out with logan and the native.
this story needs less action and more story.
and i love ravi, but i feel like you need to develop her more. she got so much potential.

Woohoo, 2 updates in a short time~ write more, please :D

Woooow, thanks for coming back! Write more, okay?

I NEED MORE. Update please, I've never been into books or reading for leisure. But THIS! This is great, it has peeked my interest.

Excellent start! VERY well written! Only a couple of spelling errors but more importantly my interest is piqued. please continue the story!

This story is pretty great; I can tell right off the bat. As soon as you started I knew I'd be into this. It's of pretty high quality, especially in comparison to a lot of stuff on this site. Also, the length is ideal. I can tell you really put some work into this one.

Just one thing I noticed that you could work on - the little show, don't tell rule. When you're explaining the succubus herself, for example. You just kinda broke into what she does like "she can do this and this and this" instead of letting it flow naturally, you know? I gotta give you a little break there though because all in all this is an amazing piece and the show don't tell thing can be alittle difficult, especially with things you REALLY want to get across.

It's something I have to work on myself, so going all fic nazi on you would be a little hypocritical, you know? xD

This is seriously a great story though, and I'll be sure to keep an eye out for updates! Thanks for the entertainment :D

(I like the names you chose, too!)