Reviews for The Girl with a Broken Life
Ella May chapter 1 . 7/1/2014
A good beginning. I like your writing style and this is a captivating read so far. There are some small typos here and there, such as "I went to were" instead of "where" or "friend's" instead of "friends'", but nothing too major. I like Annie, the way she defends her friends, and the way she realizes the verbal abuse they face is completely uncalled for.

Your beginning is interesting, showing that your protagonist is in a pretty bad place already, and then suddenly her life gets even worse. Maybe it will be more powerful to show that the place where she works is hell, instead of just mentioning it briefly. For example, have her uncle shout at some waiters or mistreat them, and then say that it is a normal occurrence and she is used to it. And maybe show how all the waiters hate Annie's uncle, but she cannot bring herself to hate him since he is family.

I hope you continue the story!