Hmm, getting some SAO vibs from it. Not that I mind, once again execution is far more important than if the idea was done well. I would like slightly more detail in between dialog, some more body language. I'm slightly skeptical over all though.

Okay, I will say this right off the bat. The first two chapters can either be condensed to info at the author note of actual chapters or slowly explained throughout the story. There is no need to actually front load the story with that kind of information since it can turn some readers off.

We do get to see some of the MC life before he started playing the game, no matter how brief it is. Right now your job is to see what separates your story from other likes it rather than what makes it familiar. Hopefully the VR will actually play an important part. Perhaps have moments both in and outside of the game.

Though you really don't need to make it a point to tell the reader that X has advanced to the point. Since it is a game. As a result anything can happen in the game. Which is why I think the first two chapters was unnecessary since most of the info could have been told more naturally.

It would be like if Harry Potter front loaded everything at the very start on how spells worked before we are introduced to the story proper.

Right now a lot of flavor text and introducing the characters. Though the pacing is nice and brisk, and we still get the basic idea of the characters without wasting too much time.

I hope my review is actually helpful, since it's probably rambling at this point.

Well, it's more like a little bit copy of Sword Art Online, but, still liked it tho.

... Well.

That was... certainly a slaughter.
(Heheh, a good one, too.)

Well, good luck, and... err, good luck.

So before I do a full review I wanted to ask something: Why put this in an VMMO? The MMO is so realistic its exactly like real life anyway. I know you want futuristic techs, physics tweaks and some alternative future, but all those things can easily be implemented in a cyberpunk setting, (besides if they have VR this complex you would think they'd have nanobots and the like in Reality) without the Virtual Reality thing. I can see you're going somewhere with the mains not encountering many players but again I don't think its worth putting all of this into a VMMO setting just for a couple of twists. All the VMMO angle seems to do so far is deaden the drama. You also did the you die in game you die in real life thing which, with all this other stuff, also serves to confuse me why you picked a VMMO setting. What's the wrong with having them die in a real world setting instead of a VMMO death, then a real world death? The whole VMMO thing seems pointless.

This is awesome. I love how much ideas and thought you put into this. Keep reading and improving your writing skills and I think that you will be an incredible author. I'd read this story as a manga or a novel. (If you published it.) I'll still re-read it over and over again. Keep working hard and I wish you the best of luck

Shadowless15

A good start, seems like you put a lot of thought into it. I think it could get pretty interesting once the game gets started.

Chiisu

Well, then, this was fairly good.

•••

STORY/CONCEPT: They're playing a cyberpunk VRMMO game, where realism is as real as ever. Hoo, it's more like another world than a game. Maybe just a tiny bit more exposition on Kenshin's life would've helped, as well as with his friends.

SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

•••

CHARACTERS: Well, I don't really know that much about them, but I can kinda figure out how they'll play out. Sort of. I like them.

SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

•••

WRITING: Don't be offended, but it's of the "meh" category. A few missing punctuation marks in the early chapters, and the like. I kinda cringed at every mistake.

SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

•••

CHAPTER 1-3 FINAL VERDICT: Well, this'll be interesting to read, hopefully.

Now, given the categories of Story, Characters, Writing, as well as my own personal enjoyment, has me giving Cybertech a numerical score of:

7.5 out of 10, with a follow recommendation to go along with it.