I liked it. Strangers meeting, but obviously having s connection. Can't wait for more!

This is good stuff. I like what you have here! Keep updating!

RE

I like it so far :)

I liked the beginning that you set up, the repetition to hammer home the imagery that you wanted the scene to be centered around. There is one thing that bothered me was the repetition of night. While I knew it was intentional, at least for the portions where you wrote: "Third night", I just felt it was a little too redundant to have "baton Rouge night". From a rhetorical standpoint, it works out to keep the flow going, so it really depends on which way I'm looking at, haha.

"She slide through the sweat of dancers and took a gulp of air when she made it outside." - Slide should be slid.

Another thing that I liked was how you were able to capture the frenzy and close, sweaty, somehow welcome grossness of a mass of people in a club. It brought the scene alive as well as brought color to the men and friends present in the club with Savannah.

Good job :)

For the RG EF

I like the vividness of your writing – I can almost smell the hormones in the air just from reading it. It gives an immediate impression of the kind of story this will be, and presents the wild streak in Savannah without directly telling the reader so. On characters, I haven't formed any strong impressions of the two MCs yet. The guy is being portrayed as so hot that he can almost make her come just with his knee? Well, ok, not impossible, but a little... optimistic. :P Anyway, if I stop being nitpicky and just dive into it, it’s a good read. Promising start. Keep going!

Hoo…Okay, then…Um, it's quite…charming.

•••

STORY: Oh, boy…So you wanted me to review this type of romance? Okay…I can do that. I can read this maturely. I got this. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I didn't see this coming. At all.

SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

•••

CHARACTERS: They really all just sound like lewd drunkards looking for some…ahem, action. As a piece of entertainment to the eyes, this is very, very good. As reality, it's…eh.

SCORE: 8 out of 10

•••

WRITING: It'a not bad. I ain't complaining.

SCORE: 8 out of 10

•••

CHAPTER ONE FINAL VERDICT: It's porn. That's all I can say. Take that how you will. I will say it is a guilty pleasure of mine. It's one of those stories where if you're bored, turn to this for sexual entertainment. And…I'll admit it does its job very well.

Now, given the categories of Story, Characters, Writing, as well as my own personal enjoyment, has me giving Baton Rouge Baby a numerical score of:

8 out of 10, with a recommendation to follow it.

Yay smut! I really like your writing style. When Savannah and the man in the mask are dancing together, you're really good at the details and showing everything that happens between them.
Firstly, in the second paragraph, you're talking about the club, but never actually say its a club or that's she's on the dance floor. You call it "a carved out hole in the wall" and a "a pulsing beacon", but you never actually say what it is. And metaphors and descriptions are great, but sometimes, you just have to state what's happening so you're readers aren't confused. I figured it out eventually, but it took me a bit longer than it should've. You also don't ever say that she's dancing in the first few paragraphs, which would've been nice. Just say that she's on a dance floor and everyone's grinding.
Secondly, do you live in Baton Rouge? I actually laughed when I saw the title of this story, because I used to live in New Orleans and I still visit Baton Rouge fairly frequently because my best friend and brother live there. However, in all my visits, I've never seen a club on the bayou. At first, I thought your sentence about the club was another metaphor, but then she started listening to animal noises. I love swamps. I grew up around the swamps, but there aren't really any swamps in Baton Rouge (they're all outside of the city, the interstate runs over it). I do really like the image, but if there were a club in the swamp, it would be outside of Baton Rouge.
Thirdly, is it Mardi Gras or some other festival? Because otherwise I'd find it kind of weird that a guy's wearing a Mardi Gras mask. Of course, it could just be common at the club, in which case I'd mention that other people wearing masks.
That's all I can think to say at the moment. Hope I helped!