|Reviews for Too Far Forward|
| topazryu chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
Good story, but was her eyes blue or green? blue-green? :)
| DrDubstepphd chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
Very Good Writing, and i very heart touching story, It reminds me of the times i've spent with my true love.
| LDF chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
Capitalize your Is all of the time and not sparingly.
The tenses are really mixed here. They switch from past to present constantly.
["Good Morning," She said as her lips touched my cheek]
If there’s a speech verb, it’s not considered the start of a new sentence, so ‘she’ shouldn’t be capitalized, and there should be a comma rather than a period inside the quotes.
His wife's eyes change from green to blue, so keep in mind of consistency.
Overall, this is too short and sparsely detailed to stand on its own. Consider expanding.
| rainbowsandglitter13 chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
oooo, plot twist! hope there's more coming!
| Phineas Angelo DeMayo chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
COULD YOU NOT IT'S MIDNIGHT GODDAMMIT UPPERWORLDER I KNOW WHAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY BECAUSE /IT'S NOT THE FIRST FREAKING TIME/.
And no, I don't usually review stuff in all caps, it's just you. Love!