Reviews for The Elements
Riverfeather123 chapter 6 . 7/25/2014
O_O Great chapter! I'm dying to know what happens next! Update soon!
Riverfeather123 chapter 5 . 7/18/2014
Great story so far! I really like the concept you have. You gave Erzsebet a good personality. Her loneliness is always essential in later plot twists! :P The only bad thing I have to say is that it seemed a little rushed, but other than that it was wonderful. Defidently worth a follow! Update soon! :D
SpiritedandLoyal chapter 4 . 7/15/2014
I'm very interested by this. It has a lot of potential.
A few things; one, she should be more suspicious of people; I mean, she hasn't really had anyone in her life to trust, has she? Unless this will be character delvopment.
Two; it feels like at parts you're trying too hard to move the story along. Too much information at once, not enough secrets. (I know this sounds weird, but even as vague as they are, those agents should be more so.)
Also, please have more emotion. I get that she could act very locked up, but so far we haven't seen much honest emotions-the kind you want to deny, but you know are true.
Don't be afraid to make parts of the story more boring and others very intense and fast paced-real life is like that. One day it's all chill, and the next is like WHAM CRAZYNESS
I'm not saying skip over the boring parts; make a small paragraph or two on them and then have something of mild interest pop up.
I really hope this helps, I'd love I see this become a great story. The plot already has lots tons of potential.
Garfield71 chapter 3 . 7/12/2014
Promising. Looking forward to read where this is heading.
PancakesandProcrastination chapter 2 . 7/10/2014
Cool! I really like it so far.