|Reviews for Female Crusading Virtue Girls: The Lost Crusades|
| Multiverse chapter 3 . 7/29/2014
Great chapter. The premise was interesting. Your dialogue and description has improved greatly. Slenderman is a creepy pasta story, so you can probably post this on Fanfiction as a crossover as well. One question though. Ho come you referred to the Slenderman as "Slenda" in the story? We don't now a whole lot about him, just the creepy pasta stories and the video games. The ending was pretty funny and all n all it was a genuinely scary chapter. We only wish Reina had a bit of a bigger role. But we understand it was Dymphna's chapter.
| Multiverse chapter 2 . 7/20/2014
Cool chapter. But where did the chick come from? Also was the writer Usagi a man or woman? And did she get her ebook back? What was on those pamphlets the chick was throwing at maria? Other than that this was a fun read and easy to follow.
| Multiverse chapter 1 . 7/17/2014
good chapter, but there were some things we didn't quite get...
How come Cheyenne didn't use new gloves to fight the monster? They didn't seem to serve any purpose. And why did John get his cat form if they can just walk in the portal and see him as a person?
By the way if is name is Jonathan his nickname will be "John" not "Jon". Because "Jon" is a completely different name.
The fighting with the salamander seem to be a little draged out. Why couldn't Cheyenne just blinded with their arrows or find a way to attack it from underneath which was a blind spot? And again why wasn't Cheyenne using her new weapon to fight the salamander? Why was she just building traps and falling?
Also make sure you proofread, there were a few mistakes but not too much.
P.s. Your descriptive writing need some improvement.