|Reviews for 50 Caliber Forgiveness|
| Black Trinity chapter 6 . 9/22/2014
Black Trinity here! On the request of a certain Beta reader whom is a trusted good friend, I came and read this story.
Gotta say, Ink knows her stories.
A solid plot, good characters, though it seems slightly... off. Call it instinct or something. Write that off as something stupid.
I'm really liking Orion though. He's a wee good lad.
P.S.S:Expect this in future chapters.
| Terra Booma chapter 2 . 9/22/2014
Interesting chapter! I like the characters!
I'm not sure if the great wall of china was built with slaves, as I know that a fair chunk of the pyramids was build using paid architects and builders and the like.
I don't know much about China though so who knows.
| Terra Booma chapter 1 . 9/21/2014
I'm Terra, I got sent over here by one Inkfngrz and from the looks of this its a good thing I came! I'm tired right now but tomorrow I'll get to reading!
| poopllama chapter 1 . 8/8/2014
The story was good, but every thought should be separated into its own paragraph.
The starting sentence could be improved if you changed it from a fragment to a sentence.
Also the sniping is unrealistic. The sniper would be accompanied by a spotter, which would ruin the solitary, thoughtful mood. Also sniping from a mile is not just "line up the cross-hairs and shoot". There's a lot of calculation in play.
The thoughts were good, and the character of the sniper was very well defined.
Also the words clip and magazine are not interchangeable words. A clip does not feed bullets. It is simply a piece of metal that only contains them. A magazine has a feeding-mechanism built into it and usually fully encompasses the rounds it contains.
Also I didn't get why the oil was "ominous". Ominous doesn't seem like a good word for oil.
However, to wrap it all up, the story was very good, but with a few minor touch-ups, I think it could be better.
| Nikolai Dantzler chapter 1 . 7/25/2014
Feel free to review, guys.