I really liked Matthews POV. And I kinda want to see more of him!

Great chapter! I thought it would be a gender-bend story, that Charlie would be as a man for the majority of the story without the Emerson's knowledge, but I'm glad for the direction this is going.

It is definitely a fun story to read!

Gosh, I Adore Your Writing. I Won't Be helpful In The Grammar Department, But I Wanted To State That I'm Loving This So Far! I Love Charlie!

There are a few mistakes, for example it says Matthew was staring at Charlie, gaging his reaction. Which should be gauging. There are a few other things like that - nothing major or distracting. Have you got a beta-reader?

I like the premise of the story, and I'll definitely be sticking with it :)

Just found this from the link in your comments on Born to be Bred. As for your request for critic on your summary I have the following advice. The summary does catch the eye, it promises depth of story and defines the place and time of the plot. However it does not reflect the other variables that the server provides like "Romance" and "M" level writing. If your goal is to publish this as a book that will be on a store shelf one day, I would recommend adding length to the summary that would show that your story will have those variables. And also, if you can manage to subtly add a little bit more of a personal connection to the main character Charlie. It needs something. Can't put my finger on what, perhaps a physical attribute or a quote. Wish I could help more. Thank you!

Wow. I'm a big BTBB fan but I might have narrowed it down to being a fan of your writing. You're a really good storyteller and I love your strong female characters. It really separates your work. I can't wait for the next chapter and more of anything you write.

I read BTBB and I followed you to here, and I'm loving this story! Can't wait to read more :)

I left a review last night but it doesn't look like it sent. I really like your writing style and your string women character like in the first chapter. But after reading the second one I'm afraid that it's all a front. But I really want to read the next chapter!

When I saw this pop up in my email I was too excited to wake up properly! I am a slow thinker so I had to read it a couple of times to get what was happening, but I think I read it enough times to get a good idea in. Charlie is really something, I'd be afraid to be in his charge if I were a criminal... As for errors I don't see much of them i only because I want to read the story more than fuss over grammar .

I'm just glad you have a fictionpress account!