|Reviews for Break Free|
| Blazing Lights chapter 1 . 10/12/2014
I didn't really follow the story and it's not because I don't understand basketball. I had played basketball for nine years and now manage my team, so I understand the sport I assure you. I didn't follow how he changed. What changed him and why? More details would help show what you are trying to say.
I also felt that the summary didn't really reflect the actual story. I don't feel like you explain what actually was going through the captain's head.
Also what tense you are writing changed quite a bit, which can disrupt the writing.
I did however like this particular line: "We shared our love for the game of basketball." It reminds of the good times I had with my team win or lose.
In the end it's never about winning it's about enjoying the game that you love.
I also liked the names of school with me sorta be opposites and has a sort of meaning to it.
I believe this story has really good potential of being a great short story that could showcase the meaning of playing the sport you.
Have a Wonderful Day!:)
| Meng En chapter 1 . 10/6/2014
It seems as if "victory" cannot be the theme, but simply a motif in this story. Indeed, the theme has to be something deeper, something communal and spiritual; the theme is something about youth and passion being ignited for the first time in battle, the cleansing of regrets. Elusive, it seems easy; beneath the underneath hides a crest of originality and deliberation.