|Reviews for The Honey Pot|
| Jalux chapter 1 . 7/9/2015
I guess I have to give you props for taking a more light-hearted approach to this, I think the style fit the story perfectly, the amount of metaphors and synonyms got the humor across. I suppose it's reminiscent of those people who can take anything and make it sexual. I wonder why the age though, I think it could've worked a little better at fifty maybe but maybe that's just me. I wonder about the lack of a theme though, I suppose this is humor but I think the story lacks purpose. Still it would be an entertaining read for most.
| Virtuella chapter 1 . 7/9/2015
Oh dear, oh dear! Some silly story this is! I didn’t even know there were so many corny synonyms for the female genitalia; just goes to show what a sheltered life I’ve led. You clearly had a lot of fun collecting these, and I had a good giggle reading.
As with your other stories, I admire how neat it is. Everything is exactly to the point, fits perfectly, plays its role to a T. The crispness of your writing is wonderful.
| m. b. whitlock chapter 1 . 10/31/2014
Wow. This is such a fun freaky sexy story. :)
I like how all the characters are like 60 years old. It reminds me of "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment" a story by Nathaniel Hawthorne in which three old men and and an old woman regain their youth only to revert to obnoxious youthful behavior… Wondering if you've read it. :)
This is quite different though, since the youthful behavior is sparked by the reappearance of 'Gina'. Really like how 'Gina' is portrayed as a separate entity from Candy Sexton.
The relationship between Candy and Gina is quite interesting. I like how Candy is shocked and doesn't at first recognize Gina when she appears.
I have a few notes:
"She witnessed a soft, golden light two-thirds of the way down her bed, under the sheets. Through her haze of sleep she thought that she had somehow left her cell phone under the covers, but then, blinking, she realized…"
I like that at first she thinks Gina is her cell phone. I also like how she calls the three men, knowing they have been waiting with almost as much anticipation as Candy has for Gina to show up. Very fun. :)
"The first to enter was a tall, lanky black man by the name of Bernard Byron Crenshaw, or just BBC *as* he was so affectionately known *as*." Tiny tip though, you might want roc ut one of those *'as's*. ;)
Like this bit:
"She flung open her robe like a curator pulling the curtains on his most treasured exhibit."
I also like that at the end when Gina again returns, Candy has learned her lesson and doesn't call back the trio. ;) It seems as though those three still have not matured enough (even in their 60s) to properly appreciate Candy's special friend.
| Shampoo Suicide chapter 1 . 9/5/2014
This was quite a read, to say the least. What I dislike is that the purpose of it is pretty unclear, but that's a minor quibble because the only purpose you need is that you wanted to write it. But it was a sort of jarring read, perhaps due to my shock at the subject matter (less the actual subject and more the age of Candy and the wordplay throughout). But you did do some interesting things, I like the religious references and the fact that you made all three men pretty much just sex objects down to the name, though Candy isn't much more than that in this piece herself :P. You did touch on her character a little, which was nice to see. Overall, I found it amusing I'd have to say, and the writing itself is solid!
| dmasterxd chapter 1 . 8/23/2014
I like how funny this story is. I'm also loving Dick Wang because he's freaking hilarious. From drooling over Candy to the sucking toes thing. He really cracks me up. I really liked your writing style as well because it helped me to paint a vivid picture in my head. Awesome job!
| freddyburn chapter 1 . 8/20/2014
What I like and what I like.
I liked your writing- I liked it because you used plenty of metaphors for Candy's pelvic region, and overall your writing is very descriptive without been vulgar. It was refreshing to see a story where the author just let loose with language.
I also like your characters. Why? Because they have personality. Candy seems like an, *ahem* fun loving woman, but she also has a back story, a history, and (for a story of this length) I managed to feel something for her. I felt sad for her because she was only happy when Gina was active, and she was lonely otherwise. Even Gina seems like she has her own personality, so bravo for managing that. The Unholy Trinity provided comedy, and remind me of some guys I know.
| Persevera chapter 1 . 8/19/2014
I must commend you for your extensive use of metaphors for the pelvic region. Candy wasn't a woman who had ever had a normal sex life, so a wide range of descriptors was appropriate and became an element of the story itself.
I loved the references to Gina. They were sweet and Gina was a character it/herself, with reactions and a history.
Ultimately though, this was a really sad story.
There's no mention of Candy's really having anyone in her life.
She called three old friends when she thought she had something to offer them, but they disappeared when her offering did and instead of people, she had only the Wild Seabiscuit for companionship.
What happens to someone who always relied on sexuality when that fades? Does she fade as well?
| deadaccount2019 chapter 1 . 8/19/2014
.[Writing] I have to admit that I'm not fond of the amount of euphemisms used throughout the piece. I'm not sure if this was meant to be humorous or a parody, but more than anything they made the writing irritating to read.
[Plot] I have to admit the story didn't go quite the direction I was expecting. That works out well, though, because it keeps the story lighter, and in turn more enjoyable. It's also consistent in its progress throughout, which made for an even pacing.
[Character] I'm a bit confused as to why Candy didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. If she was once a playbunny with many partners, she ought to have realized the conflict that would arise from inviting three sex-starved men over to indulge, especially if she knew confrontation would ruin her mood. This just seemed like a big hole in her otherwise take-charge personality.
[End] I do like how the story ends. It plays much better into Candy's personality, but it's also a bit refreshing in terms of the type of endings I've grown to expect in your writings. Rather than some big twist, it takes the most logical conclusion and ends with a strong sense of closure.
| ArgentanHeart chapter 1 . 8/15/2014
So, to be honest, I think I might be a little uptight for this story. Some of your euphemisms were funny, but a lot of them really made me cringe. Gina's aren't my thing, and old lady ones really scare me.
That being said, I was able to get over that once the beginning part was through. I liked the ending, finding happiness with herself, and her little friend. There are also a ton of really funny moments and lines. Good work, this is certainly original!
| Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
Haha, I'll have to re-read this one, though I think I caught all the implications :P It was a very fun read though - I love your language here. It's very creative and cheerful, making this an entertaining read - kind of playful and tongue-in-cheek. I really liked the tone in this piece; it's definitely not serious, but I think it fits the piece to a T, because this is a bit of an affectionate parody, a very humorous story that I think takes jabs at several tropes (the porn industry, perhaps? A lot of romance novels?).
I'll give you a lot of kudos for keeping the 'naughty' stuff very tasteful here: it's definitely explicit, but it's also really just funny and delightful to read about. If only half of the 'serious' erotica I've seen in some stories where only half as much fun ):
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 8/12/2014
RG EF stuff
Well, what a smorgasboard of metaphors this is! It’s not a tale for the fainthearted, I’d say, but as a demonstration of creative language use, it’s quite something! There is never any doubt what the subject matter is, yet you managed not to use a single direct reference, so that is some accomplishment. My second comment is a more prosaic one: why did she call all three at once? Couldn’t she predict the rivalry? Or did she have in mind some kind of, er, group activity? Maybe you could have played up this aspect a little more, since I don’t think this would be out of place.