|Reviews for Into Darkness|
| 360pages chapter 1 . 7/28/2015
I think the first and second sentences in the description should be switched. Also this is very different from your other story, just on virtue of the fact that it takes place during modern time.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 4/17/2015
Into the Darkness, don't suppose this is a Star Treck story is it? ( Gets it with a Phaser) most likely not lol.
Lets see, why is the Beretta highlighted? Is it, a relic of god? Well, not to much to go on, mobsters are always a pain, we will see if Melissa can crack this problem before its to late.
Emotion and fighting seemed well done so, nice start to the story, best of luck KK, till next time.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 1 . 12/12/2014
The main character is named Daniel, lol. :p
The prose is more or less the same as it was in The Last White Dragon, but somehow feels more detailed and... visual. Not sure whether this is an improvement or it's just the effect of writing in a world resembling real life. Probably both. *reads on* Yep, there are subtle but noticeable improvements.
Quite some action, for an opening chapter. It has an atmosphere too.
The Gun Talk was weird, but, iono, kinda amusing in its own way. :p But it definitely adds to the crime noir feel.
I guess I'll have to wait, then to see how this story develops.
Thanks for the read!
| cud-b-better chapter 1 . 8/16/2014
Well a depressing beginning. But it got the feeling just right and the boss was quite the devious character, just who could he be? The gun's talk will probably differ from reader to reader but I personally would prefer having the explanations of the guns included in the main story and also most people would already know what a Beretta is.
I'm going to have to reserve judgement as to whether I will enjoy this or not when the story gets rolling but so far it's all right.
keep it up,
| 0nimaru chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
I like the way you use noir-style short punchy sentences for the sentence. Makes it seem like a narration from a movie.
The Gun Talk is ingenious but I think it could be better if it was written in the present tense, for a more dramatic effect.