|Reviews for The Lotus and The Loon|
| deets1 chapter 2 . 9/3/2014
Unexpected thing after unexpected thing. There's always a first, but this mission? It had to be this one? That's mean. I like it. This story gets more exciting with each chapter.
| Lady Morighan chapter 2 . 9/3/2014
I was waiting for these two to finally meet, can't wait to see what happenes next!
| the.lost.scribe chapter 2 . 9/3/2014
Okay. I'm intrigued now. Stone cold seduction? I...I honestly don't know what to feel about the king. Another great story although I'm still waiting for Handmaiden to be updated. Looking forward to the next update for this story
| Guest chapter 2 . 9/3/2014
This is..very very interesting. Something new and mysterious. I am officially hooked. I demand an update, NOW. :D
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
I'm sure this story has potential, but so far I'm seeing nothing of the ilk of 'Handmaiden'. It's good enough if you're writing this as a diversion, not otherwise.
| deets1 chapter 1 . 8/28/2014
I really like this-I'm excited for the rest of the story too-swing the loon accidentally snag the King, and then how the lotus reacts to this infringement on her territory sounds interesting. And then when things go wrong. That will be awesome.
Thanks for starting this!
| Mirror.of.Souls chapter 1 . 8/27/2014
I love the concept of the story- it's ingenious. I can't wait for you to explain the world the story takes place in as well. I was wondering whether the Lotus would end up with anyone as well? That would be interesting to read. Anyway, great job and please update soon!
| GoldenLight2 chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
Well written beginning. Only one itsy-bitsy typo, by the way (noted it at the end here). Great job on proofing it!
Regarding your question about the loon-I think some explanation is required for the loon and the lotus, not so much that it's a bird, but perhaps what the loon symbolizes in this story. Maybe play up the traits of the loon in Eden or have one of the other characters compare her to a loon. ? I was a bit confused as to who was the loon. Might just be me. :) Without the blurb/synopsis, I wouldn't be sure which of the ladies was the loon, if any of them. Again, could just be me.
Love the description of the people below as candy. Great visual! Thoughts I had as I read: What is the meaning of partner? Partner in a sexual sense or a business sense? What is the setting? Where are they? When are they? How will these women work to seduce the king? What conflict will they have? :)
It's a very unique plot, and I look forward to seeing how it progresses. Has a nice mythological feel to it. Would have turned the page to get to next chapter. :)
Paragraph 18: "Well, you're not wrong..." Think at the END of this paragraph it should be women or a woman.