|Reviews for High School Sweetheart|
| Guest chapter 32 . 4/7/2019
I had lots of fun reading most of the story. The plot and characters were both interesting, and that twist just before part 2 started was extremely well done. However, I felt the ending was quite jarring and the mood wasn't properly set up for it. Yumiko and Satoshi's relationship had been slowly building up, so ending it that abruptly comes off as unsatisfactory and, as I said earlier, doesn't really fit the mood of the previous chapters or of the story in general. Real life works like that sometimes, but when writing fiction you need to keep the readers' expectations in mind. There were also lots of grammar and spelling mistakes here and there so proofreading or putting your writing through a word checker would be a good idea.
I know this story is years old and I haven't read your newer stuff (Maybe you already worked on some of the points I mentioned) but I decided to write this anyway because your story really caught my eye and I think your writing has lots of potential. I hope my review proves to be insightful if you ever read it.
| rolphy556 chapter 32 . 5/3/2016
He died really?! I don't know exactly how I'm guessing the car but damn
| ChocolateCakeLover chapter 18 . 7/3/2015
I didn't say I wouldn't post on any chapter until the end, just not every and just...
I was wondering why the hell this would be just before a part two. I thought I had it pegged, there was nothing I could see happening that would be really all that big for an end of act thing. Certainly, I thought Yuriko had a crush she may have not even known about on Natsume, and that it wouldn't be resolved until the far nearer the end. Just, bravo for shocking me (though I hope I don't come off as arrogant saying that), I know you said it was your first original story (written before, so I assume at least some edits, probably some major revision if Megumi originated in KNS?) but I love how everything that happened prior is coloured differently now. Need to go and re read some scenes which I thought were signs of burgeoning affection, but now are going to be awesomely squee worthy moments.
| ChocolateCakeLover chapter 1 . 7/3/2015
Don't worry, won't comment on every chapter but geez, erection pills as a prank? Who would think of that? Just... Really?
| Guest chapter 32 . 11/30/2014
You killed him off? I guess the story could have gone on for ever...
| Guest chapter 32 . 9/28/2014
That end was about a subtle as a jackhammer to the chest it was unexpected and uncalled for the characters were a bit flat and Satoshi was beggining to sound less like a whiny prick. Was liking the story intresting characters and good plot terrable ending. 7/10 (note small hic ups in you writing would suggest reading first)