You would not believe HOW much I love this!
Love your adoring reader,
:)

Please, please, please finish this story.

I do hope you continue one day, loved both the original and this rewrite so far.

I like this so far! I had never read the original, so I had a quick read of chapter one and I think your rewrite is excellent. I hope you continue! :)

Loved the first version and loving this. I really like these two characters. Thank you for sharing your work.

J

I read the original as well as the rewrite. Both are great. Update soon, please.

I just now discovered this rewrite and am happy to see you are continuing with this story. I really enjoyed your first draft.

I hope you do not mind a touch of honest critique/thoughts. I'm torn about whether I like your approach better in this version… you're more direct to immerse us in the story, but I think I may have preferred the other opening. Something about this one leaves me with questions about her journey (Why was it terrible? Why is she angry?) that aren't really addressed and also seems to jump too quickly into focusing on Heinrich. So I suppose my advice is slow it down a touch with this part, if you edit again.

However, I'm struggling with the different characterization here. I really liked Cora before because she felt very believable and human… she seemed to observe things she both liked and disliked about Heinz in the way a person would normally do. In this version, since she knows from the get-go that he is her fiancé, she is much harsher on him, and I find it harder to like her, even though I know that is a natural reaction in light of her circumstances. She's just overall less likable… which is fine if it's what you're going for, but I wanted to mention it as food for thought.

Plot-wise, I think on the whole I preferred her being brought to Austria under false pretenses… perhaps that is what you thought was unrealistic? I honestly have no idea whether or not it would be at that point in history, and that probably should guide your decision, but the arrangement did not feel unrealistic to me the way you had it set up. Their common ignorance was more compelling of a situation and certainly made Heinrich more likable in that he was as uneasy with the situation as she was when he realized she did not know, but that could just be me. I also kind of preferred Anneliese as the shrewd matchmaker.

I hope you do not mind my thoughts, and I hope you find them constructive. I really do enjoy this story and so hope you continue working on it!

P.S. Maybe put a note on your other story that there's a rewrite? I feel super bummed I just now discovered this.

Really very pleased that, in whatever form, you're continuing this. I always found it a very interesting read and loved both characters, especially as the story went on. Glad to hear there will be more and can't wait to see the differences and new progression of the story.

Oh my goodness, I'm so excited and happy you've updated this and are writing again! I never reviewed your last version of this (which I regret), but I loved the last version..and I love this even more! I didn't think it was possible, but I think you will out do yourself in writing this story. This first chapter is even better rounded out, and totally hooks you in. Poor Heinz, you really make his sadness palpable to the reader. I do hope they end up falling in love! Great job overall, I can't wait to read the coming chapters!

This is amazingly well written! I've never read your original but I really want to because I way too impatient, though I don't want to spoil anything for this one. Anyways, good job!

I love both versions of this. Keep up the fantastic writing!