Reviews for Margo and the Fly
msfoxycomets chapter 1 . 10/14/2014
You do a nice job of establishing a narrative here - setting, characters, central conflict...etc...

I'd like to see a little more character development for Fern, the bully. Why does she bully others? You've written this as a third person limited point of view, but I think it would really succeed more as an omniscient point of view, where we know what all the characters are thinking/feeling etc.

Question - what does the title mean? The fly? Who's the fly?
Nathan219 chapter 1 . 10/5/2014
It was really satisfying seeing her stand up to Fern. I really like the sense of triumph she gets.
JoshuaMabus chapter 1 . 9/19/2014
I like the struggle that the character was put in. The character was faced with a central problem and was forced to overcome its struggles to earn respect.
BarrenChasm chapter 1 . 9/19/2014
This is a good story about overcoming problems, particularly bully problems. This has a good lesson about standing up for yourself and I feel as though this could help somebody to get the courage to do just that.
David Riegle chapter 1 . 9/19/2014
I wish this would have been longer with more detail but overall not bad for what it is
jessiffland chapter 1 . 9/19/2014
The only thing I really saw as a problem is usually the person being bullied, doesn't stand up to the bully. Most of the time they are too scared. Also once the bully is stood up to, they still usually bully others and not just stop. But other than that, it was really good!