Reviews for Butterfly chapter 1 . 7/23/2015
I'm sorry to say this, but even if I read the "advertise" you wrote I thought that the male character was much older than 20, maybe because you refers to him as "man". I think it would give away a best feeling if you changed the way you call him, even if I understand you can't because of the plot.
Anyway, apart from this little detail, I really liked your story, I found it was very sweet, good job!
LorrahBear chapter 1 . 10/3/2014
One thing I would be careful of is how your two main characters are described. The whole time, it seemed to me that "the girl" was maybe fourteen, but that David, "the man" was much older. It wound up very close to pedophelia to me, but I don't believe that was your intention.