So who is La Familia and te Incans supposed to be La Familia makes me think of Eme and i cant be entiely sure cause we hadnt discussed that but im pretty sure Eme isnt here. I mean if it was I would be very very very surprised if they had anybody in a washington prison. The weird thing about these white majority states is it's almost like with them they just control the prison so it's not even like gangs need to exist for whites at least i mean tthere is bikers and AB sure but nothing like other states. Incans sounds like you made them up.

But why did they refer to the Central Kins as being from NY but then in the next sentence practially they said those california bastards? Brown Side Assasins sounds like your sur set.

Yellow is such a lame ass color though to have a gang be stuck with on its own xd at least with gold that resembles wealth but yellow just...no.

You know the interesting thing about you having Rivergreen set partially in Seattle and saying it should hae been Tacoma is you also could have set it in Skagit County, like Mount Vernon. I know a Sureno out there strangely enough the gang is called south side kings

So the tie between Marcus and Martin is nowhere near as strong in this. You made Mark like Kate McReary or more appropriatly like Packie while Martin would be Derrick.

I can see Marrick is still the same sadistic piece of shit as always

Question who are the Royals supposed to be based on again? That was the name I had in mind that could be a replica of any number of street gangs.

Also wow Ryan is actually in this and unlike New Arcadia he has balls? I also agree with his standard of gang membership kind of more.

In a way the comparing of gangs though between Mark and him reminds me of Dutches gang vs the O'driscolls.

I gotta ask what;s with Mark's sort of inner monologue going on it reads as though it was his thoughts but the way he's doing it almost feels like he's breaking the fourth wall. Is it just me? Thteres nothing wrong with showing his thoughts but like I said it seems like hes talking to somebody rather than having thoughts of his own.

With regards to the murder rate in my city 2009 wasn't even that violent of a year. I mean I know this is fiction I'm just saying that while the 21st century is less violent than the 90's around the 2010's is when a increase in violence started to take off. 2008, 2006, these were more violent years. 2006 had the highest also i guess i was wrong it was 19 in 2013 and it was 23 the year before that but still I did know one of the people that got shot. 2009 had 22 murders.

As for Thomas, tsk tsk. Could hae figured people would come asking about that. On the one hand they could have left him in the trailer when it went up but then that would have alerted the cops to foul play but even so he's not above suspiscion now so it's almost like t didn't do him much good.

As for the cholos wearing blue you did say there would be some of that i only wonder what exact varrio you used or if you just made one up? In the outlying cities though like outside Seattle and shit you got various gangs that have names you would expect to hear an LA gang go by but somehow dont like in Mount Vernon Washington thers a gang called the South Side Kings im friends with one of them. Or obviousy with Yakama County theres Little Valey Lokotes who im also cool with but Seattle Surenos even ones in the south end i'd consider them fake they mostly have no connections to Eme or California so they're wannabes just like portland Surenos

Anyway this story feels like Saints Row for teenagers like if theh SR game was for BG's trying to earn stripes yet still somehow taking over the drug game just from the sheer fact they got rid of their enemies

Oh have you seen the show Bad Blood on Methflix? It's about a topic you have mentioned. The Montreal mafia it has Tig from SOA in it

So that was a pretty sick killing Mark did to Thomas. Especially the part with the draining. How old is he supposed to be again i mean it said teenager I just find it odd he has these skills then again if he has the kind of background that Mark in New Arcadia does that would explain it.

And a gang war in Tacoma makes a hell of a lot more sense than a gang war in Seattle especially with suc a low murder rate it might be higher than Portland but it's lower than Tacoma. Tacoma has the highest crime rate out of all major US NW cities. I mean fr a murder victim in 2013 i knew one of the people gunned down that year only 23 people. I mean LA and NYC's crime rate may not be what it once was and it may not be what New Orleans is but 200 a year isnt exactly low.

Also how does New Orleans compare to Oakland crime wise i dont know if we ever discussed that. But yeah Pierce County gang wars make King County's a joke. It's like a much more laid back less violent version of the differences between NO and Baton Rogue which you said NO has a higher murder rate but that BR has more other violent crime. Which in a way thats the difference between LA and pheonix from what i thought i read LA had more violent crime overall than boh Pheonix and Oakland but those two cities had more homicides than LA then again i cant remember if thats still true for Arizona though. Really all they gotta do is get more than he 200 or so a year.

Ahh the surname sanchez my mom...lmao she has a funny story with that whole thing that surname. Anyway, I don't know what to make of either Jordan or Zach or Aniyah or the Asian chick whose name i already forgot the gothic one.

Mark feels indeed more like a serial killer like a young Dexter than a gang leader at this point

I don't know that I'd call any of the food in a school cafeteria "Good" but I will amit to liking chicken nugets turkey and gravy day, etc. But remembering the smell of the pizza and hot dogs makes me want to puke.

So Mark and co. are basically misfits at a school.

This is like the first mission or two of San Andreas cracking people with bats. Of course this story also has somewhat of a warriors feel to it but set in modern day if you know what I mean. And damn Kozik got laid out pretty fast I am curious to learn more about this gang or the gangs in this i know you said Rivergreen was a fake city right but i am curious to see what you did with it. It's weird seeing Mark and co. young but I get it too at the same time.

Well I don't know if Ray or Damien was the triggerman but whatever the case, blood for blood.

The story line somewhat intruiged me, but your lack of commas and pauses makes this a really hard read. You should look it over and. Like it is now I think people are going to have a hard time reading it.