Reviews for Twin Hearts
360pages chapter 1 . 2/17/2015
Haha, usually I'm happy that people don't use CAPs for yelling, but a simple ! sign and a dialog tag stating they are yelling would have been enough. Nothing too out there yet, but I'll keep reading.
Brittany Bauer chapter 11 . 12/3/2014
Keep it up. This is getting really good.
Meng En chapter 10 . 12/3/2014
Hi there,
Syntax: Emphatic use of dialogue and conversational reaction. Loose sentences encased within a predominant usage of simple sentence structure. Singular usage of ellipsis in this chapter, and multiple in the preceding. Dashes deployed to focus on particular trope-eque conversational feeling, and to remove stilted conversational deliberation. There are little uses of faulty parallelism.
Organization: The author has separated the chapters with line breaks in accordance to his organization. However, there is a pattern of spatial organization is distinguished throughout the scenes, and a brief explanatory description of the immediate setting precedes the present colloquial conversational literature.
Imagery: Predominantly visual, and there is only alluded mention and deliberation for kinesthetic and auditory imagery.
Diction: An oscillating phenomenon of informal and colloquial language, dependent on the faction and distinction of the intended characters. Informal language is stressed by the author to emphasis on the otherworldly status and environment that surrounds the relatively status quo intended group Suzaku is made out to be.
Point of View: Limited third person point of view (relatively). Uses selective perspective to highlight thoughts and emotions, currently that of confusion and embarrassment. Suzaku is, as intended by the author, readily realized as the somewhat lethargic youth often used as the butt of comical scenes. The third person point of view is used by the author to focus especially on the interactive relationships and drama that makes up the premises of the story, and can be used to stress the slice-of-life approach headed by the author.
Gracias for the read. By the way, shouldn't this piece be placed into the "Manga" section, as opposed to the "Romance" section?
Ciao
Jmin.A chapter 1 . 10/27/2014
This first chapter is a very typical start and well, quite predictable really. Maybe you could include a slight twist in this first chapter that would be the key to having the readers stay interested? Just a suggestion, I'd like to make. I personally enjoy watching anime too, and so I could easily comprehend the setting to all this. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to give critical suggestions. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Overall, continue writing your story and I'm excited as to what else you have in store. Have a great day! (: