Reviews for Behold The Ruins Of Christmas
LunaRed chapter 1 . 12/29/2018
This story almost broke something inside of me. The vivid imagery of the guy who's in love with someone who's with someone else. The poor beggar he keeps mentioning from time to time, almost shows a dark side of Christmas. Maybe that's why it made me tear up a little bit, because I was reminded of a beggar on the streets in this cold weather of December too.
solidprecipitate chapter 1 . 11/26/2014
You start with a third person/omniscient point of view, then slip into a first person. The transition, I felt, was smooth and not at all awkward. It serves to show the man's detachment from the environment, how all this celebration is going on and yet he is not a part of it. The first hint of the theme was dropped in "like how love shatters the heart". On first glance it seems like an awkward metaphor, but on a second reading is more of a subtle, clever foreshadow of the conclusion.

The implication of the ending is not entirely certain - while the narrator certainly seems bitter about the way things turn out in "Their embrace ... takes something from me" and "My heart a bitter soul". At the same time there are hints of him being able to accept things and move on, or at least let go of his hatred of his rival in "God bless him". It may be ironic or it may be mere resignation. And there is some degree of acceptance in "It is dark now, but I think I see light". While the ending line lacks the richness of the rest of the prose, it serves as a succinct conclusion.

Reading this is like eating a Christmas log cake on Christmas eve, it evokes festive feelings but you know you're going to throw up if you eat too much and have the runs but there's relief afterward.

(haha)
Jitterbug Blues chapter 1 . 11/14/2014
This is not my usual cup of tea, BUT having said that, I do really like how you narrate this. It is quite clever and even deceptive, because you nearly fool the reader into thinking that this is third person POV till nearly the very end. What impresses me is how fluidly you implemented this inception, making the switch (or perceived switch, as it never was one, really) seem quite smooth and not all jarring. I also really like how you just played with the reader's expectations there, leading them somewhere where they did not expect to wind up.

What I also really love is the beautiful imagery and descriptiveness of this piece – it is all encompassing and really gives this piece a unique atmosphere that seems quite haunting and nostalgic (the loneliness of the wanderer, the way he watches people without really being involved, the pain he feels at being so excluded). I also really like how these descriptions convey the narrator's emotions, and also so very vividly let the reader partake in them. It is a subtle way of portraying his misery.

I liked how you never went into too much detail as to why he lost that woman, though you do hint at her having been stolen from him. There is a very bitter edge to this piece at the end, where you can tell he feels a grudge for his rival, but in the end, can do nothing about his current state. It is really tragic and haunting.
Shampoo Suicide chapter 1 . 11/12/2014
Writing: Your prose is poetic and beautiful, and very emotionally resonant. I could pick countless lines to point to that demonstrate these outstanding qualities. In particular, I enjoyed the descriptions that set the scene in the beginning, you described a very bare setting in such a way that made it feel vivid and the choices made in describing the scene were very unique.

Plot: I like the way the narrator sets the scene around him before the true narrative is revealed, that of his empty bitterness and the possible reason why. I enjoyed the way it unraveled slowly even though this isn't a longer piece, I thought that was a very cool choice.

Character: We learn a bit about the narrator, again slowly which I liked. Even the way he sets the scene and describes the old man and the surroundings reveals interesting things about him. I also enjoyed the way at the end he's resolved to not succumb to that bitterness he feels.

Enjoyment: I think it's clear I really appreciated this piece! Your writing is stunning and your way with description in particular is a little envy inducing for me as a writer. I wish I could capture that sort of poetic feeling as you've done so well here, a big part of why this work was so enjoyable. Best of luck in the WCC! :D