|Reviews for My Ghostly Friend (NaNoWriMo- Revising Stage)|
| HoOisawesome chapter 1 . 12/2/2014
Hi, its me from I decided to check out your story on here because of your note on "Cinderella with a Twist". Ok I'm not huge on ghost stories, they freak me out badly, so let's see how the rest of this goes for me... Ok I am going to give you a 8.75 . So that first .25 that I took off was just personal opinion because I don't like swearing so you can just read that as a 9. The second .5 that i took off was the beginning because it didn't really catch my attention and I think you need a hooker (at least that's what my english teacher says when we start a story). The third .5 that I took out was just minor little problems in the grammar and spelling like when you wrote:
'There wasn't too many costumers,'
it should have been:
'There weren't too many customers,' (the grammar and spelling of 'customers')
Just check around for the spelling and I know you said you hadn't revised yet so I'm sure you would've caught that. Anyway I hope you find this helpful and if I have somehow offended you I'm sorry. Since I don't have an account here you'll have to PM me on to tell me if you have posted something else if you want me to read it. I like it so far and 'Sparky' is a great name for a dog (and a son of Zeus! Sorry the PJO fangirl in me is showing up). I can't say the summary caught my attention but it's the story that counts. The story is pretty worthy I mean the plot is looking great and you already have an antagonist (Olivia) which is a great advancement in the story. Also your detail is amazing and you really know how to draw a picture especially that Nathan guy really reminds me of fanart for PJO (I'm not sure if that was on purpose) but a description of what Kat looks like would be great because all I can think of when I see that name is Ariana Grande from Victorious. I think it's a great story and I'm sorry if you found this review waaaaay too long.
| Writer432 chapter 1 . 12/1/2014
1000000000000000000000000000000! It was perfection!