Whoa, random twist at the end. Why would he date the daughter of the people who kidnapped him? And why did he go from completely denying that she was his girlfriend to suddenly accepting her?

You have an interesting idea here but you need to work out some of the logical hiccups!

Dun dun dun, great ending note. Not to much of a cliff hanger but enough to want more.

I think you had a good idea for your story, but it was poorly structured. I felt that the sentences didn't flow together well. Good idea though.

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

Hum, I'm very curious about this story. At first I thought he might have the mental disorder that makes people forget the faces of the people close to them but now I'm not so sure.