wow!

this chapter was so action packed! i loved the continued theme of this dream being drawn out through the story, and the way she's been falling asleep in particular classes. i wonder if the classes she is falling asleep in are important, i.e. is there some deeper significance to econ or history? and why twice in history, or is that just because she happened to be in history more than she was in econ? so many questions!

i was also amused by her approach by the cute roman guy whom she doesn't believe likes her. although, to be honest, she doesnt sound particularly abhorent to look at. still, i can understand the feeling where, once one has been a wallflower, one sees oneself in that perspective forever. i do, however like that her walflower status does not in any way make her meek. when the shit started to go down she lept into action and it was amazing to watch her go.

i think my favorite description was of the ceiling falling. that's such a magical thing to describe, i feel - almost like the heavens breaking for a storm, but instead it is concrete and its man made and somehow that makes it more sinister and frightening. i really felt the chaos of that scene so good job there!

so this reagan, i am assuming is the sibyl. it shall be interesting to figure out what that means and how she was chosen (and whether she still has these parents she talks about out. supernatural kids always tend to suspiciously lose their parents...)

kudos!

SB

hullo, from the roadhouse!

here to review your baby ! i hope that you haven't given up on this story!

things i really liked about this prologue - i loved the amorphous quality of these um shadows? they way you referred to them as the first, the second, and the third, even though, rightly, if i were looking at them in the park i'd never be able to tell which one they were. i also really liked the way that you showed how comfortable they've become with their position, enough that they arent even worried about the coming inquisition and can sit around talking about their food instead of eating it. really really cool. also, for some reason, the phrase 'name her champions' had all sorts of hero stirrings going up in my soul.

in terms of cc: and this is just a bit, while i enjoyed reading this prologue, there wasn't enough of a hook in it. i get a vague sense that these guys are bad and need to be vanquished, but im not attached enough as a reader. perhaps, you could go on to show the person on the bench actually being eaten/munched so that there is more of a shock? that's just my crappy suggestion anyway, heh

Kudos! on to chapter the next one!

SB