|Reviews for Calamity Angel|
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 2 . 1/21/2015
Hm... dark beginning.
Well, prolly Amanda was Erisa as a child?
As usual, I wonder where you'd take this story, Miles-kun. Well, will have to wait then.
1. 'She lay there for a minute...' - [lied]
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 1 . 1/21/2015
And... I'm here to read another Miles!
Not a bad fighting sequence.
Good prologue. The Last Paladin. Hm...
1. 'The room was decorated with pillars and cells nearby, stuffed with people.' - uh... a little bit confusing. Is it [and the cells nearby were stuffed with people.]? Or is it the room that is stuffed with people? And is the room decorated by cells? Uh...
2. 'The man on the throne drummed his fingers on the throne as he watched the scene before him.' - [drummed his fingers on it]
3. 'The man let the woman drop to the floor.' - I suggest you say [the bandit] instead, to avoid confusion with the husband.
4. 'She lay there quivering and sobbing.' - [laid]